A journey of a thousand miles (or maybe just one). On running and life.

I wrote this a couple months back. I wrote it mainly as a way to process my thoughts and feelings and life (because writing helps me do that). I wrote it mainly for myself. I shared it with my husband after I wrote it, but other than that it has just been for me . . . until now. Lately I have felt that I should share it, even though it is vulnerable and hard and I don't really want to do it.

It may be what someone else needs. It may be what the Lord uses to encourage someone else during a tough time. It may be what makes someone feel a little less alone or sad or isolated, or a timely reminder that they are not the only one who is struggling. For me, personally, things have turned around a bit now that the seasons have shifted from summer to fall (summer is always, always hard for me). I still have some stuff to work through and to work on, but I'm in a better place than I was when this was written.


So here you go. My heart ::


5 years ago I couldn't run for more than 30 seconds at a time without thinking I might die. Little by little by little that changed. In 2013 I ran a half marathon. I was a "Runner". It took me a long time to embrace that I was legit and could own my title of "Runner", but I finally got there. These days I'm much closer to the person I was in 2011 than the person I was in 2013, as far as running goes.

Probably a little more than a year ago now, something shifted in me. I started becoming more anxious than I had ever been before. I started feeling "off", not like myself and struggled to do normal, everyday things that I had never even given a second thought to before. I had a few hard life and relationship situations that took a significant toll on me. A couple times I tried being brave and authentic about one particular struggle and the authenticity backfired on me and seemed to make things worse. Since it was a pretty big deal for me to work up the courage to do that in the first place, that set me back. I didn't feel alive inside at all. At some point in there I'm pretty certain I crossed the line into depression. One Sunday, earlier this summer, I couldn't even go to church with my family because I, literally, could not stop crying (and church is one of my very favorite things!). A few months before all this, I had stopped running. I would try, sometimes, but I couldn't do it. Mentally. Physically. It just didn't work any more! I have some pretty significant physical pain (hip, knee, foot, hand, wrist -- not all at the same time, thankfully, but it was always something . . . or a few somethings). I don't know if the pain brought on the depression or if the depression lead to physical pain. I went to PT for a while, but it wasn't helping and was costing a lot, so I quit. I have also had a few panic attacks over the past year or so. If you haven't ever experienced one, those things are horrible! So painful and scary. I really think that it is one of those things that you can't understand without having experienced it for yourself. All of that weighed on me and sucked the life out of me.

If someone were to ask me today if I was a runner, I wouldn't know how to answer them. I own running shoes and technical running clothes, and running-related gadgets, but that is not what makes someone a runner. It's been hard to adjust to this stage: something that had, at one point, been a big part of who I was no longer fit. I can't agree to a group run with friends because I would never be able to keep up with them anymore (even thought I know they would never leave me behind). Since I also struggle to admit all of this to anyone, my running friends probably just thought I was blowing them off or didn't want to run with them. But I don't know any of that for sure, since I never opened up to tell them what was really going on.

The other day I ran a solid mile without stopping. That was huge! Even though not that long ago I could run 10, even 15 miles, this one solid mile seemed even more significant somehow. It was a solid 3+ minutes per miles slower than I used to run, but I ran the whole time without stopping. I still have a long way to go and I don't love (or even like) running like I used to, but I think that getting back "in the saddle" is something that I need to do if I want to get better. Both as a runner and as a person that I would actually like to be.

Things that make me feel alive are being outside, my family, creating things, meaningful music, good books, making note of the (seemingly) small blessings in each day, authentic relationships, writing, encouraging others, hanging my clothes out to dry, reading a good book -- and I wasn't doing enough of any of those things. Often, I couldn't muster up what it took to get off the couch, which makes it hard to create much or spend time outdoors or be with others or do any of those things.

I think legitimately admitting to the struggles is a good place to start to get better. I have been reading things lately that have been helpful with different aspects of my struggles. I know that I am not alone in this. I should get off the couch more often. I should go outside more. I should make more stuff. I should probably get on some drugs.

Writing helps me to process my thoughts. But getting things out on paper (even if only for myself) takes vulnerability that is scary. Until you say it out loud or write it down, it is easier to pretend that it's not real. Or that it's just a "rough patch" or a "tough season", rather than an actual ongoing problem that needs addressing. Here's to the first step of putting it out there!

An active weekend

With a football game Friday night, two football games on Saturday and a 10-mile race on Sunday morning it was a pretty active weekend for our family.

Roseville had a heart-breaking Homecoming game on Friday night. They had a 6 point lead with less than 3 seconds to go in the game. Then there was a touchdown and extra point scored and before you knew it our players were laying heartbroken in the end zone and, from the other side of the field, the stands erupted with excitement and cheers! Bummer. BIG bummer! We were so close . . .

Saturday morning was sunny and warm. A great day to be watching football, but a bit warm to be a player! Both boys had games. Jacob's team lost, but Joe's team won. Jacob is #19 in the black jerseys.

I'm sure Jacob had more fan support than any other Raider, hands down! I think he had an 11-person fan club (not including anyone in our immediate family) cheering him on Saturday morning. We appreciate so much the people who love on our kids and care enough about them to come watch them doing their thing, whatever it might be (football, tennis, track, theater, band, choir . . . )! What an encouragement that is to us and to the kids. And what a good example of a way to make someone feel valued. We have such wonderful people in our lives! We are so very blessed.

some of the #19 fan club

an adorable toothless fan who came to watch his cousin

the Stoll super fan himself!

Most of the fan base from Jacob's game journeyed a mile or so down the road to Joe's game after Jacob's wrapped up, which was fun. Plus, it's always more fun to watch a team win, and Joe got an interception for his team. Go #11!

Jacob has helped coach Joe's team a little and enjoys standing with the coaches on the sidelines when he is able to be at the games.

Then Sunday morning I left the house before 7 for my September race. I made it my resolution/goal for 2015 to run a race each month (3 more races and I will have accomplished it!). I haven't missed a month yet. Anyway, September was my big race. 10 miles. The biggest race I'd run earlier in the year was a 10k (6.2 miles). This is the 3rd year in a row I've run the Women Run the Cities 10 mile race. It's such a great race. I really enjoy the feel of an all-women race. The spirit in the air is so much fun and feels different than any other race I've done. The course is beautiful and goes past where we had our wedding reception (which is extra fun since the race is always within a few days of our anniversary). Plus, it's fall and I adore fall! Anyway, the past year has been a tough one. Tough for me. Tough for our family. It has had ill effects on my health, my emotions and my fitness. I was completely undertrained (I could count on my hands the number of runs I've done in the past 12 months that were more than 5 miles long) and wasn't feeling great anyway. But, I did it! I was slower, by far, than the past 2 years, but I finished!

done!

Then we sat out in the yard watching the beauty and majesty of God in the moon. What an awe-some experience. So much beauty! It makes you feel so small and makes you thankful for the bigness of our God. Our neighbors had a telescope, so we got to watch the action close up. It was wonderful!

I hope you got to enjoy some outside time this weekend too. If you live near me, it was an amazingly beautiful weekend for late September (although I would have been happy if it was 10 degrees cooler while I was running in the morning). Sunshine, a glorious breeze, changing leaves. Perfection!

"Spring" running

I went for a run today. It is April 16th. It snowed the entire time I was running. When I was running north it was coming down pretty hard and was blowing right into my face and I could barely see. 

When I turned east I could see better and I saw so much beauty :: A beaver. Lots of mallards. A pair of geese. A snow globe of swirling white over the lake. Trees. A squirrel (or twelve). Thick woods.

It was 4.46 dreamy miles following 2 not-so-dreamy ones. (Those first couple miles always seem to be a bit like torture, no matter how much I run. Can I get an "Amen"?). The snow that made me angry this morning was beautiful to run in this afternoon. I did some major hill work in the woods near my house. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?

10 days from now I'll be running my first race of 2014. A local 10k. Bring it!

Also, I hadn't realized how worn out and broken down my old shoes were. I got a new pair of "kicks" over the weekend and my run today felt so good! I had temporarily forgotten how fabulous new shoes feel. My entire body is grateful, I think! Ahhhhh. 

Dirty already, you see!

It's still coming down like crazy out there. Despite how beautiful it is, I really hope it lets up soon!

Before-40 goal #2

Almost exactly a year ago I verbalized two before-40 goals to a friend of mine, while we were out running. My 40th birthday was just over a year away at that point and I wanted to do a couple things before turning 40 that would take dedication and be a bit of a stretch for me. The first thing I mentioned was to run a half marathon. At that point the furthest I'd EVER run in one stretch was about 5 miles. In my head I thought maybe a late spring or early summer half in 2014. But over the summer as I was training for a 10 mile race that I had signed up for for September of 2013, I decided I had enough of the training in as it was and I might as well shoot for a fall race. So sometime in the summer, I signed up for a half marathon for late October 2013. Then I proceeded to freak out a little (or maybe more than a little) and question what I had just done. Fast forward to October 26, 2013 and on a chilly, windy Saturday morning I crossed a half marathon starting line. 2 hours 7 minutes and 37 seconds later I crossed the finish line. Yay! Goal #1. Check!

The second goal I made for myself was to grow my hair out long enough to donate. I had tried once before, but couldn't handle it once it got to a certain length. (cue my frustration with my hair for the past few months now!) But after my mom's cancer diagnosis and two of my daughters donating their hair, I knew I wanted to do it too. (I am SO thankful that my mom didn't need chemo and never lost her beautiful hair, but lots of people DO need chemo and DO lose their hair and I wanted to help.) So, I am starting to think about the end of this long hair! It's pretty much driving me crazy at this point. It bugs me when I'm sleeping (when I try to roll over I can't, because I'm laying on it). I was taking off my shirt one night, getting ready for bed, and my hair got stuck in my armpit. How gross is that! I know there are lots of people with hair longer than mine, but I'm pretty much at my limit. I've had relatively short hair for a good portion of my life. More often short-ish than long-ish, anyway. I'm thinking I'll cut it next month sometime. Or maybe not until June. I'll probably go chin-length or shorter. I want to donate as much hair as I can.

So I have to make a decision (Have I mentioned I'm not really a fan of making decisions? I would rather someone just tell me what to do!) about what style to do with when I chop it all off. As my friend noted at church this morning (Hi Catherine!) I've been pinning short hair dos like crazy on Pinterest lately.

Here are my top few choices (my top few TODAY at least. Tomorrow I may very well change my mind).

I think this one is pretty realistic. It's not TOO styled (I'm a pretty low maintenance girl when it comes to hair. If I have to do too much -- or ANYTHING, really -- to it, it's not going to happen!) and she has thinner hair, as do I ::

I like this one too, but I think it looks like it might take more work than I am willing to put in ::

I think that, right at this moment, this one is my favorite. (Although that may just be because she's wearing gray and I LOVE gray!) I think her hair is a little thicker than mine, so I'm not sure I could pull it off. Also, I'm not so good at the nondescript-part-thing, my part is usually pretty defined. But, still, at this point this one is my favorite. That may change tomorrow, but for now, I think this is the direction I'm leaning ::

What do you think? Any preference? Are they all bad? All good? In the end I'll probably just tell Jill (my VERY talented friend who cuts my hair) to do whatever she wants! I like it better that way. She's never done me wrong and I get out of making the actual decision! Yay!

Have you ever had a bucket list or things you wanted to do before a certain age or at a certain time in your life? How'd it go for you? 

Multitude Monday

Here's my continuing Multitude "Monday" post which is part of a series started years ago on Ann's blog, which is a favorite of mine. If you've never checked it out, do yourself a favor and click on over. She's an amazing, gifted writer, a wonderful friend and an inspiration to so many (not to mention a mother of 6)!

"One Thousand Gifts"::

3833. Melting :: the sights and sounds
3834. forgiveness
3835. a clean microwave
3836. temps in the 40's with sun!
3837. a visit from Brie
3838. fresh snow stuck on everything :: SO beautiful! (can you spot the cross in our yard? Joey built that -- with a little help -- it was all his idea.)

3839. a major snow storm and no need to leave the house (our first legitimate SNOW day after 5 days of no school due to extreme cold so far this winter)

3840. Kirby's hard work for our family
3841. the boys watching Olympic hockey at the Hansen's on their snow day
3842. safe driving on nasty roads
3843. crafting with Kaaren
3844. book club night :: can't wait!
3845. neighbor family that shovels out the entire block :: we have the most fabulous neighbors! who does that these days, anyway? not too many people, I imagine!

3846. time with friends
3847. Qwirkle and LOTS of laughter
3848. packing meals for people in Rwanda on a Saturday morning with my parents and the Newmans :: 3 generations volunteering together.
3849. going to Sam's basketball game (and as a bonus, they won!)
3850. going for a run, despite the cold :: I always feel better once I've been running, even if it isn't so fun to actually be doing it (the HAVE DONE feeling is good, even when the DOING is tough!)
3851. lunch at my Grandma's
3852. the funny things Sara says
3853. real mail :: going out and coming in
3854. the library
3855. thoughts of summer :: kids all registered for camp



 May you realize all the blessings the Lord brings your way and take the time to make note of them. (you'll be glad that you did!)

Multitude Monday

I know, I know. It's Tuesday (again). What can I say? . . . here's my continuing Multitude "Monday" post which is part of a series started years ago on Ann's blog, which is a favorite of mine. If you've never checked it out, do yourself a favor and click on over. She's an amazing, gifted writer, a wonderful friend and an inspiration to so many (not to mention a mother of 6)!

"One Thousand Gifts"::

3797. a Wild jersey in a bag of hand-me-downs for Joe

3798. fresh haircut
3799. time with a friend
3800. Costco . . . I love it there
3801. The back door on our mailbox :: so I don't have to walk into the middle of the road to get the mail
3802. 20 degrees and no wind
3803. a nice afternoon run
3804. a gifted hotel room from a friend who travels a lot for work -- so we don't have to pay for lodging for Joe to go to the regional swim meet in Iowa
3805. my parents willingness to drive Joe to Iowa for the meet
3806. a nice group of friends who came over to learn more about health and wellness
3807. dinner with a delightful family from church
3808. a fabulous concert with the 3 "bigs" :: watching them worship is good for my soul
3809. surprising the kids with the fact that we had back-stage passes and would get to meet Toby Mac
3810. an injury-free, fun first time downhill skiing for Lydia
3811. Valentine candy and kids who share
3812. 22 years since I first fell for my Valentine
3813. a weather warm up
3714. a Valentine tea party at my mom's house (just the girls)

3815. the beauty of fresh snow
3816. a long weekend
3817. planning for a warm-weather, kidless get-away with my Valentine
3718. pancakes
3719. dinner at my parents house
3720. after-dinner game of Spinners
3721. crossing stuff off my LONG to do list :: one thing at a time
3722. Joe's excitement about the regional swim meet
3723. a good book, a warm blanket and a cup of coffee
3724. SugaRush donuts :: yum!
3725. sunshine
3726. the sound of birds singing
3727. walking the kids to school
3728. the sound of snow crunching under your feet
3729. restocking our Little Free Library
3730. 10 years since Evelyn's transplant (she was almost exactly the age Sara is now when she got her new heart . . . so thankful for her donor, wise doctors and her life)
3731. seeing Clarence at church again following his surgery
3732. chatting with our favorite 90-something neighbor who was out shoveling as we were coming home from a walk

 May you realize all the blessings the Lord brings your way and take the time to make note of them. (you'll be glad that you did!)

Multitude Monday

I know, I know. It's Tuesday. I'm doing my best . . . here's my continuing Multitude "Monday" post which is part of a series started years ago on Ann's blog, which is a favorite of mine. If you've never checked it out, do yourself a favor and click on over. She's an amazing, gifted writer, a wonderful friend and an inspiration to so many (not to mention a mother of 6)!

"One Thousand Gifts"::

3769. Dropping Jacob and a friend off at school BEFORE 7 so that they can go to Bible study before school. Watching them walk into school together to study God's word does my heart good. I can hardly stand it! Love those "kids"!
3770. A high school girl (who helps lead the Bible Study mentioned above) who I am friends with who texted to tell me she's been praying for me. How great is that?!
3771. before school hugs and prayers with my kiddos
3772. clean little girls :: post-bath
3773. ECFE mornings with Sara
3774. free bagel day at Brueggers . . . yum!
3775. Sara's funny conversations
3776. rocking sweet Casper to sleep. (oh how I love fresh little babes! . . . but he's getting SO big!)
3777. teeny tiny diapers
3778. our church family
3779. having family friends (and their 5 kids) over for dinner . . . wonderful fellowship (and lots of noise!)
3780. good kids at the dentist appointment
3781. baby shower at church :: all those tiny baby things!
3782. outside run with Kirb (it's a sad commentary that 12 degrees feels so warm!)
3783. watching Joe swim at state
3784. one-on-one time with Joe between events :: just the 2 of us. that'a a rarity!
3785. When we arrived at the state swim meet (big deal at one of the nicest aquatics centers in the country) I told Joe what I was praying for for him (that he'd do his best, have fun and not be nervous) he said "that's exactly what I was just praying for in the van". So good for my momma heart!
3786. really nice service for Jenn's grandpa
3787. LJ's honors chorus concert :: what talented 6th graders! They sounded fabulous!
3788. NOT missing the bus (thank you bus driver who waited -- blocking traffic on Lexington in both directions -- as my kids RAN down the sidewalk)
3789. beauty of the morning sky
3790. carpools
3791. a blanket and a (REALLY) good book
3792. before school Bible study at the high school
3793. Rebekah making a fabulous, yummy, pulled-out-all-the-stops dinner for our family
3794. Anna "reading" me the Bible before bed.
3795. a new volunteer "job" coaching for Mom's on the Run

3796. Sara playing with all her Little People . . . she's so imaginative



 May you realize all the blessings the Lord brings your way and take the time to make note of them. (you'll be glad that you did!)

Multitude Monday

Without any further delay, here's my continuing Multitude Monday post which is part of a series started years ago on Ann's wonderful, amazing blog that is a favorite of mine. If you've never checked it out, do yourself a favor and click on over. She's an amazing, gifted writer, a wonderful friend and an inspiration (not to mention a mother of 6)!

"One Thousand Gifts"::

3691. another fever-free, seizure-free night for Sam
3692. no middle of the night phone calls
3693. tamiflu for Kirbs' influenza A
3694. pancakes
3695. warmer temps
3696. Sam home from the hospital and sleeping in his own bed
3697. outside running 3 days in a row (one day in capris, even!)
3698. naps
3699. a "new" Garmin (how I love hand-me-downs!)
3700. hanging out at GG's watching the original Parent Trap
3701. Refresh prayer night at church
3702. cleaning out closets
3703. an almond latte (bought with a gift card!)
3704. my favorite blanket
3705. sunshine and 40
3706. Sara's new ECFE class
3707. mother-daughter date with Anna
3708. book club night

May you realize all the blessings the Lord brings your way and take the time to make note of them. (you'll be glad that you did!)

Multitude Monday {double feature}

Here's my continuing Multitude Monday post which is part of a series started years ago on Ann's wonderful, amazing blog that is a favorite of mine. If you've never checked it out, do yourself a favor and click on over. She's an amazing, gifted writer, a wonderful friend and an inspiration (not to mention a mother of 6)!

"One Thousand Gifts"::

3189. Mom's night at preschool

3190. Anna's bravery for her Kindergarten shots

3191. some great finds at the annual "garage sale" at our school

3192. a fabulous CSC banquet (one of my favorite nights of the year)

3193. my longest run ever (over 6 miles)

3194. 1st thru 4th grade talent show :: so entertaining!

3195. middle school open house with Rebekah

3196. my book club girls (what a blessing!)

3197. spring weather . . . finally!

3198. trampoline back up again in the yard

3199. clothes hanging on the line

3200. a really, really good book

3201. a freshly vacuumed house (thanks Mom!)

3202. a playdate for the 2 littles and a bit of time to myself

3203. the college-aged girl with her Bible and open journal on the table at Starbucks, writing away like crazy. 

3204. birds chirping outside the window during my early morning quiet time

3205. well-deserved good news for a dear friend

3206. powerful words

3207. 60's and sunshine

3208. Rebekah reading "Charlie and Lola" to Sara before school

3209. dinner at my parents

3210. chats with friends

3211. our basement filled with kids watching a movie on Saturday night

3212. a productive morning

3213. washing and packing up all the winter gear!

3214. 18 years today since he asked and I said yes

May you realize all the blessings the Lord brings your way and take the time to make note of them. (you'll be glad that you did!)

Here's my continuing Multitude Monday post which is part of a series started years ago on Ann's wonderful, amazing blog that is a favorite of mine. If you've never checked it out, do yourself a favor and click on over. She's an amazing, gifted writer, a wonderful friend and an inspiration (not to mention a mother of 6)!

"One Thousand Gifts"::

3174. free Starbucks :: I ordered at the drive thru and when I got to the window the guy informed me that their computers were down, so they couldn't ring me up. They could still make my latte, they just had no way of charging me for it. How great is that?
3175. a new babysitting job for Bekah
3176. 1/2 way through Kirb work trip and no major problems
3177. Kirb getting back home safely
3178. parenting with a partner again :: so much easier as a team!
3179. listening to my kiddos perform :: Bekah singing and Jake on the trumpet
3180. a super fun night with TONS of friends at a girlfriends annual gathering with probably close to 100 other ladies (my once-a-year night when I stay out WAY, WAY past my bedtime)
3181. having my parents over for lunch
3182. a nap on a cold, gloomy Sunday afternoon (following my late night)
3183. hearing from the mom who drives Jacob to jazz band 2 mornings a month what a nice boy she thinks he is (who doesn't love hearing good things about their kids?)
3184. friends who give our kids rides to stuff
3185. a hearty conversation with a girlfriend about running :: it amazes me that I would actually choose to carry on a conversation about that particular topic at all!
3186. waking up to NO fresh snow on the ground for the first time in a lot of days :: there's still plenty of the white stuff on the ground, but no new snow overnight for once!
3187. cross things off my to-do list
3188. taking time to make some cards :: it had been a LONG time since I had done that. I almost forgot how much I like it!

May you realize all the blessings the Lord brings your way and take the time to make note of them. (you'll be glad that you did!)

multitude monday

Here's my continuing Multitude Monday post which is part of a series started years ago on Ann's wonderful, amazing blog that is a favorite of mine. If you've never checked it out, do yourself a favor and click on over. She's an amazing, gifted writer, a wonderful friend and an inspiration (not to mention a mother of 6)!

"One Thousand Gifts"::

3153. our REI dividend arriving right when we needed new rain boots :: perfect timing!
3154. packing up
3155. the amazing, fabulous, genuine, caring, smart men that teach 5th grade at Falcon
3156. a great 3-day trip to the Audubon with Lydia's class
3157. such a nice group of 5th graders to spend 3 days with
3158. making the "Ort Hall of Fame" for the first time ever in Falcon Heights history (our group went 4 meals with ZERO food waste . . . our teachers and a few dads were more than willing to "take one for the team" a time or two and clean up some trays, I'm sure)
3159. seeing kids challenge themselves, even when they're a bit scared :: at the end they are so glad they did it
3160. watching the kids genuinely encourage each other, even kids who aren't friends with each other
3161. the 4 fabulous girls I had the pleasure of bunking up with
3162. learning to use a compass ("Put Red in the Shed and follow Fred")
3163. being home again
3164. Face Time
3165. sunshine
3166. snuggles with Joe who was home sick from church
3167. getting in a run between rain showers
3168. a friend of mine drove by me when I was out running, slowed WAY down, opened her window and starting singing "Hey Shana, you're so fine. You're so fine you blow my mind. Hey Shana!" Made that last mile or so MUCH more fun and a bit less painful!
3169. my dad pitching in to help when I needed hand
3170. Joe's quick recovery
3171. a good nights sleep
3172. chirping birds
3173. our washer and dryer

May you realize all the blessings the Lord brings your way and take the time to make note of them. (you'll be glad that you did!)

multitude Monday (two weeks worth)

Here's my continuing Multitude Monday post which is part of a series started years ago on Ann's wonderful, amazing blog that is a favorite of mine. If you've never checked it out, do yourself a favor and click on over. She's an amazing, gifted writer and an inspiration (not to mention a mother of 6)!

We were visiting Kirby's family up north last Monday and I was not near a computer, so you'll get two weeks worth of blessings all at once. Enjoy!

"One Thousand Gifts"::

3071. fresh, beautiful snow :: and knowing it won't last too long this time of year
3072. carpools
3073. kind friends
3074. Angie, unselfishly, sharing the chance to pick Ann up at the airport with me
3075. meeting new people who become instant friends
3076. new books
3077. inspiring words
3078. fabulous news :: Mydi's mom is completely cancer free. Praise God!
3079. the way Ann laid her hand on each book after she signed it :: blessing it and it's owner
3080. sincere humility
3081. the opportunity to help at the Set Apart conference
3082. an asiago parmesan bagel from Brueggers
3083. talking homemade deodorant with brand new friends :: nothing like cutting to the personal right away
3084. the gift of brainstorms in the shower :: thank you Lord!
3085. pictures to aid memory
3086. morning coffee
3087. witnessing hard obedience to God first-hand
3088. another member of the family of God
3089. safe travels on dangerous roads
3090. Kirbs' fabulous driving skills
3091. finally arriving in Warroad 24 hours after leaving home (it's about a 6 hour drive, but the terrible road conditions necessitated an unplanned overnight stay at a hotel -- one with a pool. Bummer we didn't pack suits!)
3092. bumping into friends at the hotel where we were stranded (they were there on purpose)
3093. cell phone reception :: so often I take it for granted, but when you don't have any for a while you appreciate it so much more!
3094. all 24 "Stolls" in the same house :: it had been WAY too long
3095. cousins playing happily together
3096. delicious pizza
3097. a good run :: Kirb came along too, which made it even better
3098. the breath-taking beauty of miles and miles and miles of snow-covered trees while driving through the middle of nowhere
3099. kids traveling well
3100. family
3101. afternoon walks
3102. finding my lost running hat
3103. sleeping in my own bed again
3104. home again! (my favorite place)
3105. Jesus and grace
3106. surviving a REALLY cold 7K race
3107. celebrating Jodi and baby Evelyn
3108. girlfriend time
3109. being the first people ever to stay in the hotel room at a brand new hotel that just opened up
3110. our stay being free :: sometimes being the "guinea pig" is worthwhile, hopefully they get all the kinks worked out soon
3111. kids back to school after spring break

May you realize all the blessings the Lord brings your way and take the time to make note of them. (you'll be glad that you did!)

Get Lucky!

Well, I ran my first 7K on Saturday. I'd been working hard for the past couple months to be ready for the race and was really looking forward to it. Then the day got closer and closer and the forecast kept changing (and NOT for the better) and I got more and more worried. I can run in the cold. And I have. But I don't like it too much! I also don't enjoy running on ice or when it's windy. Anyway, turns out the air temperature on Saturday morning was about 20 and the winds were cold and gusty. (I think the wind chills were probably in the low teens). It had snowed over night and was icy.

I had planned to run it with my friend Nicole. The start time was 9 o'clock and we don't like to be rushed or late, so we wanted to be there about 8. So she picked me up and we got downtown and parked the car and were excited  and ready to run by a little after 8. I had run many times in similar temps and knew that it was pretty chilly, but that once I got running I'd be fine. What I hadn't thought through was that we'd be standing around in the freezing cold outside from the time we got there until the race started.

Now would be a good time to mention that there were over 10,000 people registered to run the Get Lucky 7K. That's a lot of people! (turns out 9,797 of them actually showed up to run -- the smarter ones stayed in their warm beds -- making it the largest number of finishers in a road race in Minnesota ever. Pretty cool). So, as it turns out when there are that many runners, you line up by pace (there were HUGE flags with pace times on them and you were supposed to line up near the flag that noted your pace) and you start in waves. We didn't even cross the starting line until 9:18 (and I heard that the last runners didn't cross the starting line until nearly 10 o'clock :: half the people were already done running by then!). So, if you didn't do the math yet, that means we stood around in the freezing cold for more than an hour before we actually started running. That part was not so fun!

I had just passed by the flag announcing that we had already run 5K when I finally had the feeling back in my feet. When we started running I couldn't feel them at all, and then they slowly started coming back to life, but felt more like bricks or 2x4s than feet. It was really a weird feeling! My fingers were pretty cold too. I'm fairly certain we had some mild frostbite. I kept saying to Nicole, "Can you feel your feet yet?", "My fingers are still numb!", "I am freezing!". It was one of the crazier things I've done and I'm so very thankful that I still have all my fingers and toes! The running part was fine, it was all that standing around before hand that was the killer!

Also, they had done the best possible job they could of getting the race route cleared of snow and ice, but it had just snowed overnight and the temps were low, so they had their work cut out for them. There were still quite a few icy, slick spots on the route. Running on ice and running on dry ground are two completely different things. They use different muscles. Your gait changes. It's not super easy and you really need to concentrate if you want to stay upright (and, let me tell you, I really wanted to stay upright!)

I had a personal goal for myself. I wanted to run the race in less than 45 minutes. I had been consistently running about a 10/10:30-minute mile for the past month or so and 7Ks is about 4.35 miles, so I figured that was a very reasonable goal and a nice round number. My official chip time was 45 minutes and 53 seconds, BUT I'm gonna say I still met my goal since about 20 feet from the finish line I (almost literally) ran into a WALL of people at a dead stop. There was a bottleneck at the finish since all the runners had to run through a slightly narrower area to finish than the streets we had been running on were. When you combine that with the fact that some people came to a stop to greet their non-running friends who were waiting for them at the finish line and then you multiply that my even a small percentage of the nearly 10,000 runners, you get a big mess. So I was very close to the finish line before 45 minutes, but my foot (where my fancy chip timer was laced onto my shoe) hadn't crossed the little finish line pad, so my time just kept ticking on until I could finally actually cross the finish line. I'm not a super competitive person, but after all I'd already been through in the race, I will admit I was not a happy camper coming to a standstill within feet of the finish line! I don't know how many seconds all that took, but I'm considering it a goal attained -- even though my official time says I missed it by 54 seconds. So there!

Well, that's my race in greater detail than you wanted, I'm sure. Thanks for sticking it out to the end. Here's a post-race picture of Nicole and me to reward you for reading all of that other stuff. We're sporting our race sweatshirts and medals (and it just so happens that we have the exact same hat too, so we really were twinsies!).

multitude monday

Here's my continuing Multitude Monday post which is part of a series started years ago on Ann's wonderful, amazing blog that is a favorite of mine. If you've never checked it out, do yourself a favor and click on over. She's an amazing, gifted writer and an inspiration (not to mention a mother of 6)!

"One Thousand Gifts"::

3049. clear, snow-free paths around the lake
3050. more than 10 miles run this week
3051. kindergarten registration night for Anna :: she's SO excited for kindergarten!
3052. a kid-free Costco trip with Kirb (that nearly counts as a date!)
3053. a glorious sunrise
3054. a great musical for our girls and their choir friends
3055. LJ's teacher and our school principal coming to watch the performance (and that the girls had the courage to invite them)
3056. Kirbs :: I'm so very proud of him and blessed to be his wife
3057. good oncology follow-up for my mom
3058. wonderful, compassionate, understanding teachers who genuinely care for and about their students (especially when one of their students is your precious kiddo, who is having a rough go of it)
3059. healing
3060. a new member in the family of God :: party in heaven, that's for sure!
3061. antibiotics :: and just about a year since Sara's last ear infection
3062. youth group leaders
3063. nap time
3064. less trouble than I expected when needing to located Rebekah's kindergarten picture to put in the yearbook (since she's 'graduating' and all)
3065. the girls' practicing violin together
3066. family dinner at my brother's new house with his family
3067. 9 years of life for my spunky, adorable, fun, favorite (well, there's not much competition) godson.
3068. a 4-day school week (Friday begins spring break!)
3069. the beauty and magic of softly falling snow
3070. a new picture of Melvin and his family :: a 5x7, even!

May you realize all the blessings the Lord brings your way and take the time to make note of them. (you'll be glad that you did!)

multitude monday

Well, my parent's 42nd year of marriage started out not as uneventful as we would have hoped. The abbreviated version is that my mom thought she had the stomach flu last week (my dad was out of town), but I finally convinced her to let me take her to the hospital where she was admitted, "vacationed" for 5 days, had an obstruction surgically cleared from her abdomen and had her appendix removed. She is home now and is recovering and hoping and praying for no more hospital stays or surgeries EVER. Praise God it all turned out ok in the end.

Here's my continuing Multitude Monday post which is part of a series started years ago on Ann's wonderful, amazing blog that is a favorite of mine. If you've never checked it out, do yourself a favor and click on over. She's an amazing, gifted writer and an inspiration (not to mention a mother of 6)!

"One Thousand Gifts"::

3030. 41 years of marriage for my parents
3031. summer planning -- it WILL come someday, right?
3032. morning phone calls from Al -- a great way to start the day
3033. folding clothes, still warm from the dryer, on a bitter cold winter's day
3034. chocolate chip cookies sans chocolate chips -- a favorite of mine!
3035. good advice from a smart friend
3036. getting my mom to the hospital before things progressed any further
3037. great medical care
3038. caring, loving, praying friends
3039. cell phones
3040. my wonderful, flexible, sacrificial husband
3041. nurses :: I sure couldn't do that job, and they do it SO well!
3042. ear buds that don't fall out . . . FINALLY!
3043. a good run :: sunshine, warm temps, paths free of ice and snow (although I did have to dodge a few puddles) and faster times
3044. a great retirement celebration for our senior pastor who has faithfully served our church for the past 23 years!
3045. my mom being home again after 5 days in the hospital
3046. my nephew's preschool program -- a bright spot in a not-so-bright day!
3047. when the kids play well together
3048. a visit from my aunt and cousin from Massachusetts -- so wonderful to see them!

May you realize all the blessings the Lord brings your way and take the time to make note of them. (you'll be glad that you did!)

multitude monday

Here's my continuing Multitude Monday post which is part of a series started years ago on Ann's wonderful, amazing blog that is a favorite of mine. If you've never checked it out, do yourself a favor and click on over. She's an amazing, gifted writer and an inspiration (not to mention a mother of 6)!

"One Thousand Gifts"::

2988. Anna winking at me
2989. more swimming ribbons
2990. Joe qualifying for the state swim meet
2991. Anna "reading" library books to Sara
2992. chirping birds
2993. clean sheets waiting for you when you go to bed at night
2994. Buffalo day with my mom
2995. successful boot shopping (finally!) :: two pair, even :: and with a clearance and extra 25% off, only $75 for both pair
2996. grilled cheese with bacon
2997. the Amazon support guy who magically fixed our Kindle Fire when Sara, unintentionally, wiped the whole thing clean when playing with it.
2998. my new belt :: genius!
2999. Xyngular
3000. my wonderful husband!
3001. family fun night at the kids' school
3002. a beautiful funeral for a high school classmate
3003. re-connecting with high school friends around the table
3004. date night!
3005. fresh (sticky) snow on every single tree branch :: so very beautiful
3006. pre-dawn runs :: peaceful and calm
3007. lunch at my parent's house
3008. Race for the Cure "Team Marcia" gaining members
3009. safe travels on yucky roads during a storm
3010. feeling better than I have in a really, really long time (a good decade or so, probably)
3011. an entire family, a shovel in every hand, helping out neighbors (and the wonderful example of this family down, who lives the block from us :: they are such a self-less, helping, wonderful bunch. the best kind of neighbors to have! they just went up and down the block shoveling the heavy snow from all the driveways of the older people with their 4 kids -- their youngest is only 2 and he was working hard right along with them! great modeling, Jim & Heather!)
3012. a walk on a quiet winter day with my favorite person in the world
3013. Kirb down over 15 pounds :: so proud of him!
3014. hand-me-downs
3015. snickerdoodles

May you realize all the blessings the Lord brings your way and take the time to make note of them. (you'll be glad that you did!)

multitude monday

Here's my continuing Multitude Monday post which is part of a series started years ago on Ann's wonderful, amazing blog that is a favorite of mine. If you've never checked it out, do yourself a favor and click on over. She's an amazing, gifted writer and an inspiration (not to mention a mother of 6)!

"One Thousand Gifts"::

2778. hope
2779. wrinkly baby foreheads peeking over shoulders :: I can hardly stand it!
2780. how the grain of wood looks after soaking up a bit of stain :: so beautiful
2781. the great energy in church on Sunday
2782. answered prayer
2783. Evelyn home again, after spending the week in the hospital
2784. seeing Clarence back at church on Sunday
2785. tear-inducing laughter with friends
2786. determination and dedication
2787. light at the end of the tunnel
2788. my hard-working, dedicated husband and his amazing {God-given} leadership skills
2789. encouragement and affirmation from others
2790. game night with girlfriends. Boxers or Briefs :: such and fun and funny game!
2791. a great 6.23K with Kirb and the 3 big kids. great way to start off a Saturday. {Jacob finished WAY quicker than I expected him to and Kirb -- who doesn't run and hasn't been training  and running for a year and was wearing JEANS for crying out loud! -- was ahead of me nearly the whole race, although I beat him in the end. My bitterness and jealousy get a bit of a break due to the fact that he is still ache-y 2 days later, whereas I feel just fine, and have since I stepped out of the shower. So extra proud of my boys! The girls had a great time too, and Lydia has declared her desire to run lots more 5Ks with me.}

2792. new, updated pictures of Melvin in the mailbox
2793. Sara Groves. Live!
2794. waking up to our first dusting of snow

Alrighty, that's it's for this week. Tune in next Monday for the next installment.

multitude monday

Here's my continuing Multitude Monday post, which all started years ago on Ann's wonderful, amazing blog that is a favorite of mine. If you've never checked it out, do yourself a favor and click on over. She's an amazing, gifted writer and an inspiration (not to mention a mother of 6)!

"One Thousand Gifts"::

2642. folding Jacob's laundry and tucking in a little love note
2643. Sara napping with the covers pulled WAY up over her head and her adorable little toes sticking out the bottom
2644. the gurgle of the coffee pot
2645. the hum of the washer
2646. a productive crafting day
2647. a big win for Jacob's football team
2648. Rebekah's tender heart
2649. a good night at swimming for Joe
2650. goggles, swim cap and Minnie Mouse dress on Anna
2651. walking home from preschool :: Sara knee-deep in leaves at the curb, crunching with each step
2652. a good, productive PSC meeting for Kirb :: getting closer
2653. Paul Healy, Bethel University alumni of the year. I can't think of anyone better for the honor
2654. blazing reds, golden yellow, deep purples, glorious oranges :: the beauty of fall
2655. a night with all 6 kids at home
2656. Joe reading to his little sisters
2657. an idea in my head that turned out even cuter than how I imagined it
2658. lots of orders this week
2659. Lydia's smile
2660. a great -- although chilly -- 4th 5K
2661. my best time yet
2662. time with dear friends
2663. people willing to watch out kids so we can have time away without them
2664. a great football coach for Jacob
2665. another win for Jacob's team
2666. playing Qwirkle
2667. memories
2668. the 1980 Sears wishbook we had fun looking through and laughing
2669. 40 years of life for my favorite person ever born :: Happy Birthday Kirbs!
2670. REALLY hard laughter
2671. beautiful fall colors
2672. the continued blessing of our new basement space
2673. the blessing of hand-me-downs
2674. the fabulous "village" of people that help us raise our kids -- and who drive them places when there are more things to go to than our family has drivers
2675. quiet
2676. creativity
2677. no more crib in our house :: and me being ok with that
2678. sweaters and warm socks
2679. the faithfulness of God
2680. Lois doing so well. Seeing her back in church again
2681. PSC progress :: a light at the end of the tunnell
2682. Paul Healy's head towering above everyone else in church on Sunday morning :: always great to have him home
2683. making and creating things
2684. a beautiful sunset over downtown

Alrighty, that's it's for this week. Tune in next Monday for the next installment.

no. 4

So last Saturday morning I ran my 3rd 5K. With Rebekah, Lydia and Joe. I was Joe's "buddy" and our finish time was 46.48. Not my personal best! It was a beautiful day, though, and we had a fun time. It got into the 70's last Saturday, but was still a little cool in the morning. A perfect day for the run!

Fast forward 7 days.

This morning I ran my 4th 5K. It was Bethel's Homecoming 5K. A bunch of students and alumni met at the SRC at 9 o'clock for a 3.1 mile run around campus.When I got there, I think it was 36*. Brrrr. Much colder than last week. Also, I didn't bring any kids with me.

Here are a few of my post-race reflections ::

• I must hate the cold even more than I hate running, because I ran this one in 33.04. My best time ever by a long shot.
• If it wasn't the cold, maybe it was my competitive nature :: trying to keep up with all those young college pups or something.
• Or maybe it wasn't really 5 whole Ks. (which is the thought that kept going through my mind after I got my time)
• That campus is somehow WAY more hilly than it was when I was 18! Ouch!
• There's nothing like trail-running along a lake in the glorious beauty of fall. What a beautiful campus -- I also don't remember it being that beautiful when I was 18 either.
• I nearly tripped and biffed it on my face because I was so distracted by thoughts of all the projects I could make when the route took us by a HUGE stack of pallets back behind the football field. So glad I didn't biff, that would have been almost as embarrassing as when I slipped and fell while the ENTIRE football team was walking toward me, returning from practice, when I was a freshman!
• Freshman hill still brings back fun memories.
• The campus has changed a lot in 20 years -- heck, the name has even changed. I went to Bethel College, but the kids I was running with go to Bethel University.
• I'm never very glad to be running, but I'm always glad to have run -- I like to think of it as a bit like childbirth. Once I'm done and have caught my breath, I don't remember it being quite as terrible as it was in the moment and I decide I'm glad I did it, even though it was tough . . .and then I decide I might as well just do it again (that in no way indicates that I am having another baby. Just in case you thought it might.)
• I shouldn't have put the race shirt they gave me on over the 3 layers I was already wearing. By the end I was too hot!
• Tomorrow is the Twin Cities marathon. I have a couple friends running it. That's like almost 9 5Ks one right after the other. Honestly, I don't know how they do that! I always say I don't even like to drive that far (since I am the kind of person who prefers to stay within walking distance of her house 95% of the time -- sometimes I do feel the need to go to IKEA, you know.) Best wishes, marathoners. I'm proud of you!

Multitude Monday :: evening edition

Here's my continuing Multitude Monday post, which all started a while back, right here on Ann's wonderful, amazing blog that is a favorite of mine. If you've never checked it out, do yourself a favor and click on over. She's an amazing, gifted writer and an inspiration!

"One Thousand Gifts"::

2626. the smell of fall :: dusty leaves
2627. the sounds of fall :: dusty leaves crunching underfoot
2628. fall sunshine
2629. 5K with Rebekah, Lydia and Joe to start off our Saturday
2630. beautiful night sky
2631. first time at Target field
2632. grand slam for the Twins
2633. successful garage sale
2634. laughing so hard you need to fish your inhaler out of your purse to be able to breathe
2635. harvest moon
2636. clothes fresh from the line
2637. the smell of brewing coffee
2638. my hard-working husband
2639. celebrations
2640. carpools
2641. Anna's flu shot bravery

Alrighty, that's it's for now. Tune in next Monday for the next installment.