Church and the therapist's office

I need to start by saying that I love my church. I love the people there and the community. I feel we have a greater than average share of eclectic, quirky people when compared most churches I have been to. We are accepting and welcoming more than I feel is normal for a church. Those people are my family and I love them! But we still have a long ways to go, in my opinion. And I feel that "the church", in the broad sense of the word, should be more like the waiting room at the therapist's office.

Yesterday I spent a little more than an hour in the waiting room at Fraser. Fraser is a mental health specialty clinic for kids. They are mainly known for their amazing work with autism, but they work in all areas of mental health. It is a wonderful place and one for which we are very, very grateful! I have spent Thursday afternoons there for almost a year now, (for a while we spent time there on Friday too, but we've weaned down to once a week!). The woman that we see there (who we are adore, and care about, and are so, so thankful for, and who has made a huge difference in the life of one of our kiddos and, thus, in the life of our family as a whole) had surgery earlier this winter and so this was our first week back since before Christmas. (7 weeks off of therapy, especially in the midst of a major home remodel, is really tricky for a kid who has a significantly hard time with changes to routine and unpredictability!) So, after that break, I feel like I was seeing things with fresh eyes yesterday.

Many of our same "friends" were there in the waiting room with me. Familiar faces. But there were new people that I didn't recognize as well. The Fraser waiting room is a unique place. So very much diversity! Ethnic diversity. Economic diversity. Age diversity (the woman sitting next to me, who I have had short conversations with from time to time, brings her GREAT grandson to his therapy each week). Language diversity (there is always at least one interpreter in the room to relay information from therapist to parent). Diversity of abilities. Diversity in the issues that bring us each to Fraser. It reminds me a bit of what I imagine heaven to be like.

It is the least "calm" waiting room I have EVER been in. Kids throw major fits there. Sometimes they lay down, refusing to move, in the middle of the floor. It is loud! People often act in ways that would not be socially acceptable in any other setting. Loving therapists and parents can be found sitting in the middle of the floor trying to engage with a kiddo they care about and want to help who has shut down or is being oppositional. If people need to get by them (because they are, quite literally, sitting in the middle of the floor of the small waiting room) they just step over or around and give a sympathetic smile. It is the least judgmental setting that I have ever been in. It has a vibe of we've-been-there-too, keep-up-the-fight, you-can-do-it. Solidarity! Parenting is hard, hard work! That is universal. But some kiddos are even harder than average.

Everyone in that waiting room is desperate. They realize they can't do it alone and need help and wisdom and support. They are at the end of their ropes and knowledge and ability and are acknowledging their needs just by walking through the door. That fact brings an amazing feeling of unity and also an inability to put on any air of pretense or having things all together. Just by being there, we are all saying that we DON'T have it all together and that we're pretty much a mess. And we need help. No one there is judge-y. People give a sympathetic smile and let you know you aren't alone. People own their "stuff" and don't attempt to be fake. I imagine we all spend enough time faking it in other settings and it feels good to be real for a bit.

Isn't that how church should be too? Aren't we there because we are acknowledging that we need Jesus? That we can't save ourselves? That we are all sinners and are a bit of a mess -- possibly even a huge mess! When people ask me, on Sunday morning, "How are you?",  can I say that I had a shitty week? Would I get in "trouble" if I said shitty in church? A big part of me wants to be authentic, but instead, I almost always default to "Good. And you?" This is not completely false. I AM good. I am healthy. I have a wonderful family that I love (and who, if we're being honest, I want to murder at least once a day). I have food to eat and clothes to wear and a roof over my head. I have wonderful friends and a great community. But, also, life is hard! It isn't easy to convey all of this in church (or anywhere), so I default to "Fine." or "Good." But I wish church were more like the Fraser waiting room. Where we could drop the pretense and be more real and have it be ok to do so. Where other people would be that way too. That we all would. Where we could just sit (often completely wordless) with our crap. Where just by walking through the doors we would be admitting what a mess we are. I think Jesus would be in favor of that. My Jesus would, anyway!

*photo credit to my friend Margaret 

Heavy-hearted . . . but hopeful

I feel like 2016 has been a rough year. It has been a rough year for me, personally. It has been a rough year for my family. It has been a rough year for my immediate community. It has been a rough year for our state. It has been a rough year for our nation. And, it has been a rough year for the world. Hurts. Struggles. Violence. Protests. Elections. Refugees. Wars. There is lots of bad stuff going on out there.

This week, especially, there are many hurting people around me. And, I would guess, around you as well. No matter what your political leanings or what candidate you voted for, I would hope that each of us in this nation (and many people around the world as well) have dealt with the goings on of the world with sobriety this week (figuratively, if not literally!). I would hope that, no matter what side of the line you find yourself on, you would be a bit heavy-hearted with me this week. There are many people in our nation who are hurting. People who are scared. People who are in mourning and are deeply wounded. Many of them are people that I love and care about deeply. And that fact hurts my heart!

There are many things that have made this year memorably rough a variety of levels. A major one that comes to mind for me, as far as my immediate community goes, is the shooting of Philando Castile. On July 6th of this year, Philando Castile was shot and killed by a police officer less than 2 miles from our home. This happened in my immediate neighborhood. Our community was thrust into the national spotlight overnight. Many people, even Twin Cities residents, had no idea where Falcon Heights was before this summer. Now people all over the country recognize the name of my community. My dad, one of our daughters and I took a bike ride the day after the shooting to join the gathering of people who were mourning, protesting, remembering and holding vigil at the location where Philando (Mr. Phil as he was known at the elementary school where he worked) was killed. It was an emotional and meaningful thing to be a part of. Many tears. Hugs between strangers. A heartfelt word to my young daughter from a black woman thanking her for coming to share in the "hard" of the moment. There was less anger than I expected; more deep sorrow.

The following week, the elementary school that our kids attend organized a gathering and peaceful walk to the memorial to show our concern over the violence happening in so many different communities in our nation, but specifically the violence that happened right outside our doors. It was a beautiful gathering of caring, concerned community members and I'm so thankful that we were able to be a part of it. It fells good and right to do something when you feel so overwhelmed and helpless. The three teachers from our school who organized the gathering are amazing people. Amazing leaders. Amazing teachers. I am very thankful to know them and have them influencing my kids! My talented friend Shaina (who has a fabulous name . . . even though it is spelled "wrong") took some very moving pictures of the event, which you can see here (see if you can spot any of our family members in the photos).

Although I live very close close to the location where the shooting took place, it is not a part of my normal, daily driving route. Because of that, it becomes easier to forget with time. More than 4 months have passed now and many people have moved on and forgotten at this point. However, one of our kids has a weekly appointment that brings us down the road where the memorial is, and so, on our drive home from our appointment every Thursday we drive by that spot. We remember. There is still a very large memorial on the side of the road. There still are people who remember and have not forgotten. People who are still hurting.

This week there are many people that I know personally and care about deeply who are very sad and hurt and disappointed in our nation. They are mourning and they are scared. Scared for themselves. Scared for their children. Scared for people that they love. This makes my heart feel heavy! I am a highly sensitive, deeply feeling person, so I realize I am in tune to the pain of others in a different way than people of a different personality type are, but I would hope that the deep sorrow of many in our nation would bring sorrow, in some degree, to each of us. Regardless of who I voted for, regardless of who you voted for, there are people around you who are hurting and I would hope that that fact would make your heart heavy too. I also realized that there are many people who are very happy about the outcome of the election (obviously, since Trump won), but I would hope that even those who are celebrating the victory of their candidate could be sympathetic and, hopefully even, empathetic to those around them who aren't feeling celebratory right now. It is a hard time for our nation. I realize I haven't been alive for all that many presidential elections relative to people that I know with many more years of life and wisdom, but I feel like this one is unprecedented in the level of angst and division that the outcome of the election has brought to the people of America. It feels different to me this time around. More divisive. Heavier. I, for one, hope to act in ways that bring peace and healing and a feeling of being loved to those who are hurting. Smile at a stranger. Be civil to those who you come in contact with who hold political views that differ from yours. Love your kids. Hug your friends. Make strides for peace in ways that you are able.

I want to be a safe place for both those who are happy with the state of our country as well as those who are hurting. I am very aware that I have friends and family members in both camps. People that I love and respect fall on both sides of this struggle and that makes things tricky, but not impossible.

But through all of the hard and the sad and the horrible, there are also many, many glimmers of good in the world. The world holds much hope! On Wednesday morning, after the election results were tallied and in, I went to school with my elementary kids to volunteer, as I do each Wednesday. The chatter of elementary school kids this particular morning was more interesting and insightful than it is most "normal" Wednesday mornings. The toast with cookie butter (yum!) and coffee and the amazingly beautiful sunrise that I witnessed that morning paired with the laughter of kids and seeing a student that was pretty discouraged a couple weeks ago flash me a smile (rare for this particular kid -- at least in my experience) and volunteering in a kindergarten classroom (gotta love kindergarteners!) were all good for my heavy heart! So while there is hard in the world and sad in the world and sorrow in the hearts of many of us, there is also so very much wonderful! The warmth of the sun on your back in November, the crunch of leaves underfoot, snuggling, health, newborn babies, meaningful work, laughter with friends, coffee, hugs, a beautiful sunset, people who love you through your yuck, naps, catching up on laundry, online shopping, a good book, music that moves you . . . be on the lookout for the good things in life. There are so very many. The seemingly little, insignificant ones are my favorite! Enjoy them. It's ok to be sad and it's ok to mourn and it's ok to hurt, but try not to forget about all the good that is still in the world. As Glennon Doyle Melton likes to say, "Life is brutiful!" Simultaneously brutal and beautiful. Intertwined. That's how it has always been and I imagine that is how it always will be! I'm going to try my hardest to focus on the beautiful and the good. It's easier sometimes than others, but it's always a good goal.

Blessings abound

Here are some of the many blessings I have made note of in my gratitude journal lately. A gratitude journal is something that I had heard of for years and years, but finally started doing after reading Ann Voskamp's powerful, amazing book One Thousand Gifts. If you haven't read it, you should! And also, she has a new book out called The Broken Way. I have a copy of it on my nightstand, but life has been crazy and I haven't had a chance to read it yet. I am looking forward to it though, and know it will be wonderful. So, here go a few of my recent blessings (complete with photographic evidence of some of them). Enjoy!

5912. baby snuggles with Clay
5915. our pediatrician -- I love her!
5918. family trip to the apple orchard
5920. a complete God thing. an answer to a prayer we hadn't even thought to pray :: a tutor for one of our kids who is struggling in school
5922. glorious weather
5925. clothes on the line
5933. volunteering at school
5937. bonfire and dessert with friends
5944. friends who are like family
5950. a supportive, encouraging husband
5951. a girls weekend
5955. sunrise over the lake
5956. loon calls on the lake in the morning
5959. singing words of truth ::

Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me.
On and on and on and on it goes
It overwhelms and satisfies my soul
I never ever have to be afraid
This one thing remains!

5960. deep, hard laughter with friends (I nearly needed my inhaler!)
5961. yard work done and ready for winter
5963. knowing friends are praying for me
5964. a bright moon in a dark sky
5965. family walk to the park in the dark -- looking at the moon and the stars and swinging and playing catch and climbing and enjoying time together
5972. walking the kids to school each morning
5975. an eagle overhead -- the majesty!

amazing for a November in MN

walking to school with these 3 is my favorite

sunrises are my favorite

amazing friends on an amazing fall day

In case there wasn't already enough going on

Life has been a bit of a whirlwind the past month or so. Lots of things (very good things!) coming at us that weren't exactly in the immediate plan, but nonetheless we have found ourself in the middle of them. Major life things. Time consuming things. Thought consuming things. Good things, but things that demand a lot out of you!

We are on the brink of a MAJOR house project around here. An addition and remodel. Big stuff! We have lived in our 1920's house for nearly 20 years now and we LOVE it, but there are lots of things that could stand to have a bit of money thrown at them (and that's an understatement), if you know what I mean. So, we are diving in! All the years we've lived here, we have dreamed of a bigger kitchen. Our kitchen is small and the space is also the main entry into our house. And since 8 people live here (five of whom are full-sized people), the space is pretty tight, to say the least. And when you add in the fact that all the shoes/coats/sweatshirts/backpacks/etc for 8 people get tossed on the floor in the kitchen, it's nearly enough to make you lose your everloving mind! So, our yard will soon be sporting a big hole and life will get messy for a while . . . well, life is always messy, but it's about to get a lot more messy, in the literal sense, for the foreseeable future.

Also, I will be going on a MAJOR, life-changing trip with our two older girls in just over a month. Passports have been applied for. Plane tickets have been purchased. Planning is well underway! My mom, my dearest girlfriend since childhood (my "sister"), my two older girls and my brother's wife will all be traveling to Cebu, Philippines to work at a shelter for orphaned and abandoned children. We will have the opportunity to serve them by helping the staff there prepare for Christmas. How fun is that? Shopping, wrapping, baking, planning, prepping . . . doing what we can to help make Christmas special for the 80+ kids who call CSC home.

I'm quite sure there will be plenty to share on both of these fronts in the near future, so stay tuned.

Life is quite a ride these days. (And always!) I'm hanging on tight.

Senior Night

It was senior night for football this week. At the game on Wednesday night, they honored the seniors on the football team and their parents (as well as the senior team managers and cheerleaders). Jacob is healed up enough to be able to suit up and play again -- which we are thankful for. He's not 100% yet, I don't think, but he is certainly better than he has been for the past month.

at home, before school in the morning

The football team dressed up for school on game day and Jacob looked fabulous! (although I might, possibly, be a little biased) Tradition says that the mom of each senior is supposed to wear their son's jersey to the game that night. Let me tell you, those things are NOT comfortable! First of all, Jacob and I are not the same size! Also, since I wasn't wearing football pads, there was lots of excess fabric in the shoulder area that was crazy-making! I won't get in to the rest of my complaints about the jersey. At the first possible moment, I took that thing right off!

on the field, before the game

Each of the seniors was announced, along with their parents, before the start of the game. They mispronounced my name . . . but I guess it's not about me, right!? Ha! (I'm sure no one even noticed other than me.) After all the seniors and their parents were announced, we stayed on the field with the players for the national anthem. In addition to it being senior night, it was also "pink out". The ENTIRE student section was dressed all in pink to support those fighting cancer. More specifically, breast cancer. I was not unaware of the fact that my mom was in the stands watching her oldest grandchild play in his senior night football game on "pink out" night, almost 4 years after her own breast cancer diagnosis. If you know anything about me, you might not be surprised by the fact that all those things added together had me a bit verklempt!

Go Raiders!

In the end, the team pulled off a 41-20 win. I can't believe we are so close to the end of Jacob's high school football career. The days are long, but the years are short . . . so very true! We adore our #19 and are so very proud of him and the man he is becoming!

Blessings

I haven't done a gratitude journal update for a while. Here are a few of the blessings that I've noted lately as I go about my days, which turn into weeks and months and years and make up a life. There are so many and I like to write them down so I can remember how blessed I am when I need such a reminder.

5825. Joe back on the swim team
5826. 9 pm family meetings with the "bigs" (oldest 3 kids). Prayer and sharing time.
5829. thunderstorms
5832. the honor of being asked to be godparents for the son of our dear friends
5838. perfect fall weather
5842. leaves crunching underfoot
5849. turning in early
5867. 20 years of marriage to my best friend
5872. the smell of autumn
5874. understanding, empathetic friends
5876. a better-than-expected WRTC 10K race
5879. the generosity of my parents
5880. the power of music
5881. productive crafting
5882. my huge mum from Costco
5889. Lexington open again heading north, after being closed for over 4 months
5895. clothes on the line
5896. morning walks to school with the Falcon kids
5898. great homecoming at UNW for Kirb
5900. finding Joe some pants that actually fit
5908. sunshine
5910. shadow pictures

raining morning pre-race friends photo

and we're done!

sunny afternoon coffee date

sunshine is the best!

walks in the woods

sisters in the morning sunshine

All Clear (or pretty darn close)

We had our follow up at the orthopedic doc on Friday and there was good news. I don't have a Twitter account and am not much for hashtags, but just for fun let me say :: #allclear, #batterup, #happyboy, #activerestdidit'sthing!

The doctor did advise that he ease back in to throwing with his right hand, so he suggested not pitching or catching, since that would involve way more throwing than any other position. But he can rejoin the batting order and start fielding as a righty again! His first game after the all clear is tomorrow night and he is pretty pumped!

Active Rest

Early in June our sports-loving, baseball playing kiddo told me, before bed one Friday night, as we were praying together and I was tucking him in, that his elbow really hurt. This kid has a pretty high pain threshold, so I probably should have taken it a bit more seriously right off the bat (no pun intended), but in true "seasoned mom" fashion, I told him to take it easy and see how it felt in a couple days. I promptly forgot about it and started thinking about all the other things taking up mental space in my brain these days. Well, a few days later he told me that it still hurt. And I could tell he meant it. So I made him an appointment at the pediatrician for the next day. She looked at it, asked him some questions and got him an x-ray. Since there are growth plate issues to consider with an elbow in a pre-pubescent kid, and since she is a pediatrician and not a radiologist or orthopedic doc, she said she'd have to consult with a radiologist and get back to me with the verdict. I got a call the next day that the radiologist wanted us to head to an orthopedic clinic to have him seen by a specialist there because it looked like the bone had pulled away from the growth plate. (Sounds super painful to me!) So we we made an appointment at the orthopedic clinic with a guy who specializes in elbows and works quite a bit with baseball players. In the hours between the explanation of the concerns of the radiologist and the appointment with the orthopedic doc, I googled a bit about elbow growth plate injuries. That was probably not the best idea! It just got me worried and certain we would have surgery, or at the very least be down for the count for the rest of summer. And this was approximately 2 hours into summer vacation (quite literally -- school got out at 11 for the year and the orthopedic appointment was at 1:30)

At this point we are now about a week out from the first complaint about elbow pain and, tough, determined kid that he is, he has played in 2 baseball games since the pain started. At the appointment with the elbow guy we got a diagnosis of Medial Epicondyle Apophysitis, which meant nothing at all to me, but sounded like something you should take seriously! The lay term for what was causing the pain is "Little Leaguer's Elbow". Sometimes it comes on all at once, with one long throw of the ball or swing of a bat . . . but this case seemed to be more of the repetitive use version, since there didn't seem to be one particular "event" that prompted the onset of the pain. Thankfully there was no splint, cast, or surgery required. Just "active rest". No throwing. No batting. Less strenuous activities like swimming and biking were fine, but I assumed that the baseball season was pretty much over at that point. Turns out that was a naive assumption on my part. I should have known better, after all the years I have known this particular child!

A few pre-injury baseball pictures :: 

Within 24 hours of the diagnosis, we were at a sporting goods store buying a glove for his right hand, so he could learn to play as a lefty. Without missing a beat (or a game) he continued playing. (No batting still, though.) Even though he was out of the batting order, he was fielding with surprising accuracy and power as a lefty. I guess it is advantageous to have a left-handed first baseman, so that is what he has played most in the games since his injury. He is one determined kid. As hard as that particular trait can be to parent, at times, I know it will serve him well in life. He made up his mind to do something and he did it. (Hopefully with no life-long damage to an important part of his body that he would appreciate having full use of for the rest of his days!)

We are coming to the last week before our re-check. We have an orthopedic appointment again at the end of this coming week. New x-ray and exam. I know it will not go smoothly if anything less than an "all clear" is given at this appointment. So we are hopeful that time and rest would have done the healing work that is needed to get back into life at 100% (if not a bit more!).

But the past few weeks, I have been giving extra thought to the idea of "active rest". I think there are some areas of my life that could use a bit of active rest. Not completely down for the count across the board, but intentionally avoiding some things in areas that are "injured" in my life and giving them the time and space to heal a bit. Maybe you have areas that could use some active rest too. Think on it a bit and see.

On my stack

If you know me well, you will know that I love, love, love to read! I always have a book or two that I am working on. Also, I love to listen to audio books when I am running, so most of the time I've got one on my phone that I'm listening to as well. Not to mention the never-ending stack by my bed of "to read" books. So, this is the stack I'm working through lately.

Here go my thoughts. From top to bottom. Enjoy!

And It Was Beautiful by Kara Tippetts. Kara (pastor's wife, author, blogger, mother-of-4) died in March of 2015. This book was put together after her death, I believe from blog posts over the years as she struggled with cancer. She had written two books before this one and I appreciate her writing and am looking forward to reading this one too.

Savor by Shauna Niequist. I ADORE Shauna and her writing. I have read everything she has written. A couple of her books I've read 3 or 4 times! Savor is a daily devotional book and I love it! It is how I start each morning (well, honestly, once in a while the morning gets away from me and I have to play catch up the next day . . . or the day after that). I got it for my birthday last year and am truly "savor-ing" it. I can't tell you how many days I have opened it up and it has said so precisely what I really needed to hear on that specific day. And many mornings I want so badly to read the next day's entry, but I (usually, anyway) restrain myself. You won't be sorry if you pick up a copy, I promise! P.S. Shauna has new book coming out later this year that I am looking forward to enjoying as soon as my (pre-ordered, gifted by the same friend who gave me my copy of Savor for my birthday) copy arrives in the mail!

Roots & Sky by Christie Purifoy. I haven't connected so deeply with a book since reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. And if you know me well, you know that it pretty much the highest compliment that I can give. Christie is doing for my soul the same thing that Sara Groves' music does. The book is wonderful and I am really, really enjoying it and taking my time. I'm already sad that it is nearly over. The subtitle is "A Journey Home in Four Seasons" and it is her thoughts on life and seasons and change and home, following a move her family made from Florida to an old farmhouse in Pennsylvania. I love it!

Giddy Up, Eunice by Sophie Hudson. I have read and thoroughly enjoyed Sophie's other two books as well as her blog and her podcast. She is hilarious, while also conveying deeper, meaningful thoughts. Giddy Up, Eunice did not disappoint and I enjoyed each and every page. It tackles the subject of the importance of intergenerational friendships among women, christian women in particular. It explores more deeply a few friendships from scripture that crossed over generational lines. I was lucky enough to get an advanced reader's copy of the book. It actually comes out this week, so get your hands on a fresh-off-the-presses copy for yourself!

Life Together in Christ by Ruth Haley Barton. This is the book that I am working through with my fabulous group of "Bible Study" girls. (We are a cross between a traditional Bible study and a book club with more significant depth of material, and always focused on spiritual formation). Those three ladies are so dear to me and love me so well, even through my hard, gross stuff . . . but, back to the book. I have really enjoyed it so far. We are a little more than half way through and it has some challenging material, but it is (almost always) good to be challenged and pushed a bit. The books subtitle is "Experiencing Transformation in Community" and our prayer is that that is true of us. It gives you a great model of how to have a keeping life with Christ in the company of others.

Miss Hazel and the Rosa Parks League by Jonathan Odell. I know almost nothing about this book, but what I do know is that it was HIGHLY recommended by a friend of mine who has recommended books to me for years and not let me down yet . . . so I'm trusting this one will be a winner. I requested it from the library and it just came in, so I'm excited to get started.

The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt. I just finished this one over Memorial Day weekend. It was LONG (771 pages!) and there were times that I wanted to quit. But more than I wanted to quit, I wanted to know how it ended, so I stuck it out. I was glad that I made it and it saw it through to the end. The plot was interesting (although, personally, I think it could have been just as interesting with fewer pages!) and I appreciated the diversity of characters and the character development. Not the best book I've ever read, but not bad either. If you enjoy art or art history, it might be right up your alley since the overarching plot involved a stolen painting. It is a good read as long as you don't mind a decent amount of bad language, a bit of violence and murder, a pinch of gruesome detail and lots of drugs! It won a Pulitzer Prize, so there's that too.

Most Wanted by Lisa Scottoline. Another friend recommendation that I requested from the library that just came in (don't you hate it when all your books come in at the same time . . . when it rains, it pours, I guess!). Looking forward to reading this one as well. A novel. A thriller. A page turner. Every once in a while I love a novel that keeps you up late in to the night because just can't put it down. I'm guessing that's what this one will be.

A few that I have finished. A few that I am currently working through. A few that are up next. What are you reading lately?

None of the links are affiliate links. I get no benefit from you reading the books or not reading them. I just wanted to let you know what I'm reading and enjoying lately in case you might enjoy it too. All links are to Amazon, although there are a million other places that you can buy books. Also, I can't read e-books. I need actual pages made of paper to turn. I know that's not as convenient as just carrying around your thin, light e-reader . . . but, that's how I roll!

Blessings

I have made a practice, for years, of keeping a list of blessings in my life (gratitude journal). It really helps me to keep things in perspective and also to be on the lookout for the gifts in my life, both big and small. Here is some of my recent blessings.

5313. a beautiful sunrise
5317. Anna spending the weekend with GG (those two just LOVE being together)
5322. reading books to Sara
5365. a thumbs-up from our 93-year-old neighbor as he drove past me as I walked
5359. clean sheets on all the beds
5372. clothes on the clothesline
5402. crafting
5410. glorious spring weather
5423. friends who know you well
5450. hearing an owl hooting in the woods
5462. the quiet of morning
5485. the girls hanging out in the yard in their hammocks
5504. beautiful sunset
5505. our "village" and how we take care of each other
5532. staff appreciation breakfast at school -- always a highlight of the year
5540. that my kids get to really know my grandma. And the love her so much!
5542. texts from friends
5548. our spiffed up patio space
5554. lots of yard work done
5556. the smell of lilacs in the air

Be on the lookout for blessings in your life. You will love it once you start!

4 weeks. 4 birthdays!

4 of our 6 kids have had a birthday in the past 4 weeks. That makes for lots of celebrating. Lots of cake. Lots of singing. Lots of birthday punches (51 total, to be exact!). Lots of gifts. Lots of cards. Lots of gratitude for each of their lives.

On March 23rd Jacob turned 17 and Rebekah turned 15.

Then just 5 days later, Anna turned 8.

Today, Joe turns 11.

It's so true what they say. "The days are long, but the years are short!" It is amazing to me at how quickly the years go by. That very first baby that I held in my arms who made me a mama is 17 already. In a year he will be a legal adult. He drives a car (and sometimes a HUGE van) and makes his own plans and very shortly will be moving out of our house. It all comes so fast. I am thrilled with the people each of our kids are becoming, but I miss the littleness of them. Snuggles on the couch aren't quite the same any more. They don't need me the same as they used to. They still need me, but it's so different. I love it and I also miss what used to be.

My favorite thing is watching them develop friendships with each other. They truly love and care about one another. And more and more they enjoy spending time together and are really becoming great friends. It is so wonderful for us to see. Besides the fact that they each love the Lord, nothing makes me happier than seeing them become friends with one another. I love they way they tease and support and annoy and encourage one another. I love seeing them come up with amazingly thoughtful gifts for one another that are so meaningful and special to the person they are giving them too. I love our kiddos and the wonderful people they are becoming!

What the birthday kids are in to these days ::

Jacob (17) ::
football
Ultimate Frisbee
church softball
anything sports-related
hanging out with friends
church
mowing lawns

YoungLife

Rebekah (15) ::
tennis
friends
taking driver's ed

Netflix
social media

Trout Lake Camp
coffee
babysitting

Miranda Sings

perfecting her Miranda Sings impression (it's pretty darn fabulous, if you ask me!)

YoungLife

Catalyst (before school Bible study)

church/youth group

laying in her hammock

babies

Gilmore Girls

Anna (8) ::
gymnastics
friends

biking

being outside

church (her friend Pastor Troy)

drawing

her newly-pierced ears

Joe (11) ::
all things sports
Nerf guns
school patrol -- walking line
reading
Koalas (he is OBSESSED!)
Legos
football/hockey/swimming/baseball
Marvel super heroes (especially Captain America)

biking

Fuller House (Netflix in general!)

being outside

I am so very grateful to have each of them as a part of our family!

Natural Beauty

I've said it before, and I'll say it again :: I love where we live! This morning as I was walking with the kids to school, we saw the most awe-inspiring site. About 10 feet ahead of us and on the opposite side of the street, I sensed something. As I looked up, I saw a eagle take off from the tree, probably less than 20 feet off the ground. I have never been that close to an eagle in the wild. I've been to my share of raptor shows and seen a few injured eagles in captivity, but never imaged I would be that close to the majesty of an eagle outside. Less than a mile from my house. On a city street. I'd never seen an eagle in a tree that low to the ground. It was amazing! And SO big! The kids, young as they are, even sensed they had witnessed something special. We just stood still on the sidewalk watching him (or her) soar above the houses. The eagle remained surprisingly low in the sky and we had a fabulous view. I hope to never forget the sight of those white tail feathers taking off so close to me. You could tangibly feel the presence of that majestic animal. It was breathtaking!

I couldn't help but be reminded of one of my very favorite hymns ::

Oh Lord my God
When I in awesome wonder
Consider all the worlds Thy hands have made
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder
Thy power throughout the universe displayed

Then sings my soul
My Saviour, God, to Thee
How great Thou art, how great Thou art
Then sings my soul
My Saviour, God, to Thee
How great Thou art
How great Thou art

How great Thou art, indeed. I am grateful for the chance to have been able to bear witness to creation in this way this morning! What a fabulous way to start the day!

Grateful. So grateful!

I emailed a specialist teacher from our elementary school this morning to tell her about a scheduling conflict that we were going to have beginning today and stretching into the rest of the school year. One of our kiddos has an appointment every Thursday afternoon for the foreseeable future. Thursday afternoon also happens to be the exact time that this specialist at our school meets with this group of kiddos -- which only happens once a week. Meaning, our kiddo would never get to go to that specialist again for the rest of the school year. I got an email back from her pretty quickly thanking me for letting her know about our situation and that she would give it some thought and get back to me. Our elementary school has roughly 450 students. This situation only affected ONE of them! She got back to me within an hour, saying that she talked to the homeroom teachers in the grade and the 3 of them had agreed that our kiddo was important enough that they would switched around the Thursday schedule for the entire grade to accommodate my kid. Can you even believe it? That outcome had never even entered my mind as a possible solution to our situation. I am amazed at the kindness and compassion of these teachers! I was all emotional and teary and called both my mom and Kirb to tell them of the outcome -- one I hadn't even imaged. It is not a perfect place. (This is not a perfect world!) But I sure do love our school. I am so grateful that these adults cared enough about my child to re-arrange the schedules of 3 teachers and 2 homeroom classes so that my child didn't miss out on something. That is pretty amazing! What a great school filled with great, kind, compassionate, caring, flexible teachers. I am grateful . . . and still a bit surprised by the whole thing! What a blessing!

Counting gifts

We celebrated Thanksgiving a few weeks back and are now nearly half-way through Advent already. Time goes by so fast (unless it happens to be going slowly and then OH MY can it drag!). I continue to count gift. Blessings. Reasons to be thankful. Both big things and small things. The small things are my favorite and are, actually, quite big I have found! Here are a few of them that I have noticed lately ::

5067. sending snail mail
5074. story time at the library
5090. kissing my kids
5091. one on one time with Jacob
5105. quiet mornings
5112. handwritten cards in the mailbox
5113. clothes on the clothesline
5122. walking the kids to school
5124. feeling a bit more like myself again after a few especially hard, emotional weeks
5126. finding Jacob's lost wallet
5131. Rebekah and Lydia's Miranda impressions . . . never fails to brighten my mood
5135. watching my kids at the Toby Mac concert -- seeing them worship genuinely, from their hearts, in ways they don't get at church each week
5136. Sara dancing her heart out
5138. the warmth of sunshine on your back
5141. dropping off a van full of kid at school before 7 for Bible study
5143. my mom's help with major cleaning and purging -- couldn't (and wouldn't) have done it without her
5147. watching Sara sleep
5149. BOGO holiday drinks at Starbucks
5152. the amazing, wonderful cousin-like relationship my kids have with our "village" kids (I never had cousins that I was close to, but I love seeing my kids have relationships like the ones people talk about having with their cousins. Being super close. Growing up together. Knowing you could always count on each other).
5153. our village
5159. Kirbs
5164. Troy taking time each Wednesday to sit down and check in with Anna about how she is doing after she turned in a few prayer request cards in the offering saying she was struggling at school (gotta love a pastor/bodybuilder/tutor!)
5166. NO pile by the coffee maker
5171. a short week
5173. friends who pray for you
5174. Thanksgiving at Ham Lake
5175. snowy walk in the woods with Myndi
5176. Anna playing ping pong with GG
5178. the new living room arrangement
5180. watching old videos of the kids . . . those sweet little voices!
5182. devotions in the morning with Anna
5187. sleepover in Chanhassen with the Newman family
5191. texts that make you laugh
5193. first paid out-of-the-house employment in almost 17 years (preschool sub)
5198. Christmas cards all picked up
5204. finishing up a BIG, fun craft project (and I LOVE the finished product!)
5206. a once-again empty front porch following the Salvation Army pick up of our porch full of purging!

Lately

There have been so many days the past few months where the devotional I read through each morning has said exactly what my heart needed on that particular day. It's uncanny to me (and, at the same time, so very like God) that it can be so impeccably timed. So many mornings it brings me exactly what I need in my life for that day. Some days it is so specific to certain circumstances in my life that I can hardly believe it.

Anyway, the other day I read these words ::

The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hand. {Psalm 19.1}

Right now all the leaves are falling, and there's no reason that they have to turn electric bright red before they fall, but they do and I want to live like that. I want to say, "What can I do today that brings more beauty, more energy, more hope?" Because it seems like that's what God is saying to us, over and over. "What can I do to remind you again how good this life is? You think the color of the sky is good now, wait till sunset. You think oranges are good? Try a tangerine." He's a crazy delightful mad scientist and keeps coming back from the lab with unbelievable new things, and it's a gift to be a part of it.

. . . I want my every day to make God belly laugh, glad that he gave life to someone who loves the gift. {Savor, by Shauna Niequist. Entry for October 5th}

I love fall! I try to savor it each year. Spend as much time as I can outside. Looking around. Smelling the smell of it. Listening to the leaves crunching underfoot. Absorbing the beauty.

I also try to live this way. Loving the gift of this life. In the big things -- and, much more importantly, in the little, day-to-day things.

Here are some of the blessings from this past week. Keep track of your own "gifts". The things you are grateful for. The little things and the big things. See if it makes a difference in your life the way it has in mine ::

5029. a walk with Kirbs on a beautiful fall evening
5030. the smell of fall
5032. finishing up a big project
5033. a clean house (even if it only lasts 5 minutes)
5035. carpooling
5036. perspective
5039. the little girls playing dress up
5040. finding the lid to my travel coffee mug (that I use nearly every day) that I lost while walking the kids to school
5041. crisp fall air coupled with sunshine
5042. wearing socks
5044. Jacob's first ever varsity playing time (go #19!)
5048. Friday morning date with my mom
5049. the boys both asking for pink football socks to wear in October in honor of their Ama
5050. Joe and Anna snuggled up together in Joe's bed, fast asleep
5051. an eagle flying low overhead as I was running
5053. Joe's great catch for the extra point in his football game
5054. a great Homecoming week at UNW
5058. the 3 little kids giddy with excitement over new episodes of their very favorite show
5060. while mowing our neighbors lawn for them while they were out of town, Jacob noticed that their mower blade was dull and sharpened it for them.
5062. the 3 littles having a sleepover on the living room floor
5066. cheering on friends at the Twin Cities Marathon events

Blessings

Years ago (whenever it first came out) I read Ann Voskamp's book One Thousand Gifts and have read it a few more times since then. I think, the Bible excepted, it has had more impact on me and my life than has any other book I've ever read. If you haven't read it, you really should get your hands on a copy. It's a wonderful book. Ann's writing is unique and poetic. She is one gifted lady!

Shortly after finishing the book, I started to keep track of my "gifts" in effort to reach one thousand. Call it a gratitude journal, counting your blessings . . . whatever. It is something that I am thankful to have started and kept up for years now. I enjoy looking back on the blessings in life. Especially when the days are tough, it's good to be reminded of all that God has done and all the good things in your life.

So, here are a few of my recent "gifts".

4991. great tackle for Joe
4992. laundry on the line
4995. Kirbs studying so hard
4998. anniversary morning coffee
4999. good friends
5000. 19 years of marriage
5001. Kirb stepping in to run the show when I was hit with a massive headache
5003. my kids
5004. being available to help out a friend in the middle of a crisis
5006. working on spelling words with Joe
5009. fun mail
5010. book club night -- friends. laughter.
5018. glorious weather
5020. watching the lunar eclipse with our neighbors
5021. September race accomplished
5026. walking the kids to school
5028. Monday morning walk in the rain with a friend

Multitude Monday

It's been nearly a month since my last Multitude Monday post. Where on earth did March go? I'm glad to have moved on to April, though, and to finally see signs that spring is here to stay! So, without further ado, here is my continuing Multitude Monday post which is part of a series started years ago on Ann's blog, which is a favorite of mine. If you've never checked it out, do yourself a favor and click on over. She's an amazing, gifted writer, a wonderful friend and an inspiration to so many (not to mention a mother of 6)!

This will be a "best of" list from the past month, since there are about 80 of them.

"One Thousand Gifts"::

3901. Face Time
3904. hugs
3906. the beauty of mountains
3909. running outside without dodging puddles or watching out for ice
3910. Kirbs' laughter
3911. seeing first-hand how fabulous my husband is at his job. So proud!
3912. eating breakfast OUTSIDE
3913. naturally-sourced vitamin D! (yay for California sunshine on the skin of a Minnesota girl in March)
3916. hanging out and laughing with Jen
3920. fabulous people watching
3922. a good book for the plane ride
3923. safe travels
3925. life-long friendships
3926. being home again!
3927. hugging my kids again after being away from them for a week
3928. waking up and hearing the sound of Joe reading books to Anna
3929. sleeping in my own bed
3930. tax return automatically deposited in our checking account
3931. feeling full to almost bursting with love for my family and my life and gratitude to God for it all
3932. my parents and ALL they did so we could get away
3934. running in my own, familiar neighborhood
3936. 15 years of Jacob!
3937. Rebekah a teenager!
3939. introducing my grandma to the game of Spinners
3940. Sara saying "I love you, Marjorie." to my grandma -- I think it's so funny when she uses adults first names (that sometimes I didn't even know she knew!) instead of their other name (mom, dad, grandma, grandmpa, ama, bopbop, GG). She does it every once in a while and it cracks me up every time.
3941. Rebekah baking her own birthday cake
3945. all the people who took the time to tell me how great the kids did playing in church the Sunday we were out of town
3946. Jacob playing his trumpet accompanied by his GREAT grandma -- pretty rare and pretty special. It goes my heart good!
3949. Rebekah playing "I Love to Tell the Story" on the piano while I work
3950. surprise 40th birthday get-together for a friend -- seeing friends I don't get a chance to see very often
3953. my favorite green chai (the our local grocery store stopped carrying) from my mom (she found some online!)
3958. Our REI dividend!
3961. 6 years of Anna!
3962. our church
3964. 14 glorious miles run over the weekend
3965. snuggling my nephew :: 4-month-olds have the best, huge, toothless smiles
3966. dinner at my parents house
3967. fabulous finds at Goodwill (and a sale to boot!)
3969. Macy's flower show with the littles, my mom and my grandma (4 generations enjoying spring-like flowers inside while the outside was FAR from spring-like!)

stop and smell the hyacinth

Sara wasn't cooperating for pictures!

Anna has lost 2 teeth since this picture was taken less than a week ago!

beautiful

me and my silly little girls

my beautiful grandma

what's a flower show without some candy treats?

GG, Ama and Anna

3970. weeknight sleepover for Sara (makes the morning SO MUCH easier)
3972. one-on-one date with Sara

enjoying a ride at MOA

3973. attending a 100th birthday party (you don't get many chances to do that!)
3975. REALLY dirty kids after playing outside (ahhh, the "joys" of spring)
3977. coffee ice cream
3978. running in capris and a tank top (it's been a long time since I ran sleeveless!)

 May you realize all the blessings the Lord brings your way and take the time to make note of them. (you'll be glad that you did!)

How on earth?

We had a big day around here over the weekend. It was our "twins" birthday. Jacob and Rebekah are exactly 2 years apart (within about an hour of time of day, too). They were due in different months, even, but we born on the same day. Jacob gave me a bit of high blood pressure that had the doctors worried and so they induced me early (he was due April 2nd). Rebekah was having a dandy time hanging out in my womb and saw no reason to leave, so finally when I was 6 days overdue and at the doctor for a check up, they insisted I come in the next morning to be induced -- which happened to be the 2nd birthday of my only other child. I wasn't super excited about them sharing a birthday (and cried about it in bed that night -- surprising, I know! Me. Crying?), but in the end it's kind of a fun thing for them to share a birthday. And it's good they didn't wait any longer to get Rebekah out of there, since she was over 10 pounds as it was. I hate to think what another day or two or three of "cooking" might have done to her! Yikes.

Jacob (3 or 4 months) and Daddy

Rebekah, almost 4 months

how sweet is that . . . holding hands

Jacob on St. Patty's Day in preschool (age 3)

Jacob (6 months or so) hanging out with his favorite college football player/uncle!

summer 2011

Rebekah (age 4) and her BopBop

eating pickles together at the state fair

first day of school :: 2nd grade and kindergarten

New Year's Eve 2012

right before Rebekah got all her hair cut off and donated it :: November 2012

Jacob and his mom

Rebekah made and decorated the cake with the candles (the 15 for Jacob and the 13 pink ones for herself), but since Jacob couldn't eat it Kirby whipped up another cake at the last minute so both birthday kids could enjoy some birthday cake on their big day!

the birthday "twins"