All the feels

It has been quite a week around here. So much "life" (and all that that entails) packed in to a few short days. The highs and the lows. The joys and the sorrows. I've shed so many different kinds of tears that I've nearly lost count.

I started the week with a funeral. Anna and I went together. That one isn't my story to tell, and not my loss directly, but it was a huge loss for people that I care about and came with with all the emotions of grief and shock and deep sorrow.

We followed funeral day with a tumultuous day for our family. That one's not really mine to tell either, but it was a hard, hard day. Lots of emotions and frustrations coupled with (and stemming from) cramped/out-of-routine living conditions and overtired people with lots of hormonal upheaval (ah, the tween/teen years!) can result in a pretty "impressive" explosion. I think we are still recovering from that one!

Next came the rollercoaster of emotions that you experience when you mark the passage of time. At our house we get a two-for-one on that experience, since two of our kids share a birthday. Our two oldest kiddos turned 18 and 16 last week. I can hardly wrap my brain around that fact. I am the parent of an adult (technically, anyway!). What in the actual heck is going on in the world? I feel like I was 18 not that long ago. Time is so weird like that! (It should be noted that I simultaneously feel 95 when the aches and pains come as I attempt to get out of bed in the morning . . . bursitis sucks and should be reserved for people who are at least 75!). All day I was full of thoughts and memories. I'm so proud of the amazing people that they are (and are still becoming -- aren't we all still becoming who we really are?)! I am so grateful for the opportunity to be their mom. Nothing else in life can compare to that privilege and responsibility! They have taught me so much over the years. Being a mom has grown me more than anything else in life. I tried to ignore the thoughts of all that I have done wrong as their mom and all the ways that I've messed them up, but those kept popping up anyway. I thought of and prayed over their futures and all that they still have ahead of them in life. Both the joys and the challenges. I remembered them as babies and toddlers and preschoolers and "big kids" and tweens. So very many memories! What a day.

Also, Jacob and Lydia were in the play at their school this weekend. After weeks and weeks of rehearsals, showtime was here. I think they were at school from about 7:30am until after 10pm every day this week (with the exception of Wednesday). Seussical was fabulous and they did a great job! I'm always happy when things come to an end, though, and life can settled down a bit again after the craziness of performance week!

The house project has had some stresses and kinks and delays this week and that only added to the general life stress. But it is really starting to come together and it looks great and I'm so excited for it to be finished and to start getting settled in and using our fabulous new space. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and we can do it!

We have some close family friends who are facing some really intense struggles, so not much time passes that I am not thinking of and praying for them and all that they are facing and in the middle of.

Then there was church . . . I pretty much always cry at church!

Life is so hard! And also so wonderful!. So much tension that we are caught between. I am grateful for the highs and the lows and having them all so interwoven. That is what makes life so real and wonderful. As much as the struggles are hard and no one wants them, the joys wouldn't/couldn't be as rich without the other side of the coin. Birthdays. Death. A beautiful sunrise. Illness. The wrinkly forehead of a newborn. A good book. Relational struggles and heartaches. Snuggling up with your child. Physical pain. The first cup of coffee in the morning. Friendship . . . life!

The week ahead holds yet another birthday, a work trip for Kirby and a band trip to NYC for Jacob. So it would seems things won't be settling down much for at least another week (and probably not then either)!

CSC trip recap

No words or pictures could capture our trip. The feelings, the experiences, the people . . . it was so good and so hard and so wonderful and so emotional.

We left early on Sunday morning, December 18th. At the airport by 4 am to check all our bags and pick up coffee and get to the gate in time for our first leg of the long trip to Cebu. We flew from Minneapolis to LA. From LA to Seoul. From Seoul to Cebu. Nearly 24 hours of total time in the air between the two flights! Due to the time differences, it was early Tuesday morning, local time, when we finally arrived in Cebu. We were tired and weary, but excited to be there after the weeks and weeks of dreams and plans.

We were asked to come to help with Christmas preparations for the kids. 75 kids, give or take a couple! That's a whole lotta Christmas prep, let me tell you. We shopped. We wrapped. We wrapped some more. We "emergency" shopped for a few more things. We baked cookies. We made table decorations for Christmas dinner. We frosted cookies. We played with kids. We held precious babies. We made friends. We witness the selfless gift, purchased with money donated by orphaned and abandoned children, that would bless someone who had needs beyond any that I can wrap my brain around! We worshipped. We sweat a lot (TROPICS! We were in the tropics!). We listened. We cried. We ate A LOT of rice. We even slept a little bit.

I can't put words to the life long impact an experience like this has on a person. I'm so grateful to have been able to share it with some of my very favorite people on earth.

In case there wasn't already enough going on

Life has been a bit of a whirlwind the past month or so. Lots of things (very good things!) coming at us that weren't exactly in the immediate plan, but nonetheless we have found ourself in the middle of them. Major life things. Time consuming things. Thought consuming things. Good things, but things that demand a lot out of you!

We are on the brink of a MAJOR house project around here. An addition and remodel. Big stuff! We have lived in our 1920's house for nearly 20 years now and we LOVE it, but there are lots of things that could stand to have a bit of money thrown at them (and that's an understatement), if you know what I mean. So, we are diving in! All the years we've lived here, we have dreamed of a bigger kitchen. Our kitchen is small and the space is also the main entry into our house. And since 8 people live here (five of whom are full-sized people), the space is pretty tight, to say the least. And when you add in the fact that all the shoes/coats/sweatshirts/backpacks/etc for 8 people get tossed on the floor in the kitchen, it's nearly enough to make you lose your everloving mind! So, our yard will soon be sporting a big hole and life will get messy for a while . . . well, life is always messy, but it's about to get a lot more messy, in the literal sense, for the foreseeable future.

Also, I will be going on a MAJOR, life-changing trip with our two older girls in just over a month. Passports have been applied for. Plane tickets have been purchased. Planning is well underway! My mom, my dearest girlfriend since childhood (my "sister"), my two older girls and my brother's wife will all be traveling to Cebu, Philippines to work at a shelter for orphaned and abandoned children. We will have the opportunity to serve them by helping the staff there prepare for Christmas. How fun is that? Shopping, wrapping, baking, planning, prepping . . . doing what we can to help make Christmas special for the 80+ kids who call CSC home.

I'm quite sure there will be plenty to share on both of these fronts in the near future, so stay tuned.

Life is quite a ride these days. (And always!) I'm hanging on tight.

4 weeks. 4 birthdays!

4 of our 6 kids have had a birthday in the past 4 weeks. That makes for lots of celebrating. Lots of cake. Lots of singing. Lots of birthday punches (51 total, to be exact!). Lots of gifts. Lots of cards. Lots of gratitude for each of their lives.

On March 23rd Jacob turned 17 and Rebekah turned 15.

Then just 5 days later, Anna turned 8.

Today, Joe turns 11.

It's so true what they say. "The days are long, but the years are short!" It is amazing to me at how quickly the years go by. That very first baby that I held in my arms who made me a mama is 17 already. In a year he will be a legal adult. He drives a car (and sometimes a HUGE van) and makes his own plans and very shortly will be moving out of our house. It all comes so fast. I am thrilled with the people each of our kids are becoming, but I miss the littleness of them. Snuggles on the couch aren't quite the same any more. They don't need me the same as they used to. They still need me, but it's so different. I love it and I also miss what used to be.

My favorite thing is watching them develop friendships with each other. They truly love and care about one another. And more and more they enjoy spending time together and are really becoming great friends. It is so wonderful for us to see. Besides the fact that they each love the Lord, nothing makes me happier than seeing them become friends with one another. I love they way they tease and support and annoy and encourage one another. I love seeing them come up with amazingly thoughtful gifts for one another that are so meaningful and special to the person they are giving them too. I love our kiddos and the wonderful people they are becoming!

What the birthday kids are in to these days ::

Jacob (17) ::
football
Ultimate Frisbee
church softball
anything sports-related
hanging out with friends
church
mowing lawns

YoungLife

Rebekah (15) ::
tennis
friends
taking driver's ed

Netflix
social media

Trout Lake Camp
coffee
babysitting

Miranda Sings

perfecting her Miranda Sings impression (it's pretty darn fabulous, if you ask me!)

YoungLife

Catalyst (before school Bible study)

church/youth group

laying in her hammock

babies

Gilmore Girls

Anna (8) ::
gymnastics
friends

biking

being outside

church (her friend Pastor Troy)

drawing

her newly-pierced ears

Joe (11) ::
all things sports
Nerf guns
school patrol -- walking line
reading
Koalas (he is OBSESSED!)
Legos
football/hockey/swimming/baseball
Marvel super heroes (especially Captain America)

biking

Fuller House (Netflix in general!)

being outside

I am so very grateful to have each of them as a part of our family!

Tennis

Just in case you think football is the only sport that anyone plays around here, a bit of tennis goes on too (and a few others too!). Here are a few pictures from a match on a glorious fall afternoon this week.

Pictures can be a bit tricky to get when it's a bit frowned upon to actually enter the courts. Most of them have a bit of chain link in the foreground. You get used to watching through the fence, but it makes taking pictures a little more challenging than usual.

She's got some serious power!

How on earth?

We had a big day around here over the weekend. It was our "twins" birthday. Jacob and Rebekah are exactly 2 years apart (within about an hour of time of day, too). They were due in different months, even, but we born on the same day. Jacob gave me a bit of high blood pressure that had the doctors worried and so they induced me early (he was due April 2nd). Rebekah was having a dandy time hanging out in my womb and saw no reason to leave, so finally when I was 6 days overdue and at the doctor for a check up, they insisted I come in the next morning to be induced -- which happened to be the 2nd birthday of my only other child. I wasn't super excited about them sharing a birthday (and cried about it in bed that night -- surprising, I know! Me. Crying?), but in the end it's kind of a fun thing for them to share a birthday. And it's good they didn't wait any longer to get Rebekah out of there, since she was over 10 pounds as it was. I hate to think what another day or two or three of "cooking" might have done to her! Yikes.

Jacob (3 or 4 months) and Daddy

Rebekah, almost 4 months

how sweet is that . . . holding hands

Jacob on St. Patty's Day in preschool (age 3)

Jacob (6 months or so) hanging out with his favorite college football player/uncle!

summer 2011

Rebekah (age 4) and her BopBop

eating pickles together at the state fair

first day of school :: 2nd grade and kindergarten

New Year's Eve 2012

right before Rebekah got all her hair cut off and donated it :: November 2012

Jacob and his mom

Rebekah made and decorated the cake with the candles (the 15 for Jacob and the 13 pink ones for herself), but since Jacob couldn't eat it Kirby whipped up another cake at the last minute so both birthday kids could enjoy some birthday cake on their big day!

the birthday "twins"