All the feels

It has been quite a week around here. So much "life" (and all that that entails) packed in to a few short days. The highs and the lows. The joys and the sorrows. I've shed so many different kinds of tears that I've nearly lost count.

I started the week with a funeral. Anna and I went together. That one isn't my story to tell, and not my loss directly, but it was a huge loss for people that I care about and came with with all the emotions of grief and shock and deep sorrow.

We followed funeral day with a tumultuous day for our family. That one's not really mine to tell either, but it was a hard, hard day. Lots of emotions and frustrations coupled with (and stemming from) cramped/out-of-routine living conditions and overtired people with lots of hormonal upheaval (ah, the tween/teen years!) can result in a pretty "impressive" explosion. I think we are still recovering from that one!

Next came the rollercoaster of emotions that you experience when you mark the passage of time. At our house we get a two-for-one on that experience, since two of our kids share a birthday. Our two oldest kiddos turned 18 and 16 last week. I can hardly wrap my brain around that fact. I am the parent of an adult (technically, anyway!). What in the actual heck is going on in the world? I feel like I was 18 not that long ago. Time is so weird like that! (It should be noted that I simultaneously feel 95 when the aches and pains come as I attempt to get out of bed in the morning . . . bursitis sucks and should be reserved for people who are at least 75!). All day I was full of thoughts and memories. I'm so proud of the amazing people that they are (and are still becoming -- aren't we all still becoming who we really are?)! I am so grateful for the opportunity to be their mom. Nothing else in life can compare to that privilege and responsibility! They have taught me so much over the years. Being a mom has grown me more than anything else in life. I tried to ignore the thoughts of all that I have done wrong as their mom and all the ways that I've messed them up, but those kept popping up anyway. I thought of and prayed over their futures and all that they still have ahead of them in life. Both the joys and the challenges. I remembered them as babies and toddlers and preschoolers and "big kids" and tweens. So very many memories! What a day.

Also, Jacob and Lydia were in the play at their school this weekend. After weeks and weeks of rehearsals, showtime was here. I think they were at school from about 7:30am until after 10pm every day this week (with the exception of Wednesday). Seussical was fabulous and they did a great job! I'm always happy when things come to an end, though, and life can settled down a bit again after the craziness of performance week!

The house project has had some stresses and kinks and delays this week and that only added to the general life stress. But it is really starting to come together and it looks great and I'm so excited for it to be finished and to start getting settled in and using our fabulous new space. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and we can do it!

We have some close family friends who are facing some really intense struggles, so not much time passes that I am not thinking of and praying for them and all that they are facing and in the middle of.

Then there was church . . . I pretty much always cry at church!

Life is so hard! And also so wonderful!. So much tension that we are caught between. I am grateful for the highs and the lows and having them all so interwoven. That is what makes life so real and wonderful. As much as the struggles are hard and no one wants them, the joys wouldn't/couldn't be as rich without the other side of the coin. Birthdays. Death. A beautiful sunrise. Illness. The wrinkly forehead of a newborn. A good book. Relational struggles and heartaches. Snuggling up with your child. Physical pain. The first cup of coffee in the morning. Friendship . . . life!

The week ahead holds yet another birthday, a work trip for Kirby and a band trip to NYC for Jacob. So it would seems things won't be settling down much for at least another week (and probably not then either)!

House update

Work on the house is coming right along. It's getting more exciting each day. We are so looking forward to the blessing that our new space will be to our family and those who spend time in our home. Living kitchen-less and in cramped quarters has been a challenge for our larger-than-average crew, but we are surviving it so far!

The other day I was at Target and bought a bunch of Sharpies so we could "bless" our new space. We all gathered in the new kitchen and spent some time praying over our home and all the people that would come through our doors and our family and the blessing that the new space will be. Then we set the kids free to write all over the studs. Blessings. Scripture. Song lyrics. Un-readable stuff written by a 6-year-old. It was a great night.

Walls have gone up. Walls have come down. Windows have come out. New windows are in. Holes have been cut through walls. Other holes have been patched.

It's exciting to see the progress each day. Some days it is more noticeable than others, but always exciting. Some days you run 2 errands and listen to a podcast and when you get home your entire kitchen, that was there when you left home, is gone! Crazy!

A couple more months and we'll be living in and growing accustom to our new space.