Reality

I love my kids. They are wonderful and a blessing!
BUT, I scream at them every day and get frustrated and angry with them so very often. It makes me sad.

If I know you are coming over to my house, I'll clean it up and, chances are good, it'll look pretty nice.
BUT, if you stop by unexpectedly {which is fine by me . . . but consider yourself warned} it is more likely to look like this::





which, in all honesty, is how it looks most of the time. So don't be offended if the toilet isn't flushed.

Sometimes I take pictures of my messy house for my blog while my baby cries in her crib.

For some reason people think I have it all together.
BUT, I really, really don't! I'm overwhelmed with life on a daily basis. For example, I am often overwhelmed -- many times each day -- by the sheer volume of footwear and outerwear spread all over my kitchen::


I think that all my problems would be solved and the world would be a better place if I had a mudroom.
BUT, deep down {actually not even all that deep} I know that wouldn't really solve much of anything important.

My kids seem sweet, well-mannered, kind and nice looking on the outside. You might think them to be pretty smart and put together.
BUT, at home they can be a complete disaster {although still quite cute!}. I often have not the first clue what to do with them. A couple of them are actually going in soon to be evaluated for anxiety and depression. We are at the end of our knowledge and ability to help them. And are hoping for some help, ideas and solutions {maybe even drugs, Lord willing!}



I love cloth diapers. They save us money, are better for the environment and are better for the little butts that wear them. I've used cloth diapers for almost a dozen years now.
BUT (no pun intended!), anyone who tells you that cloth diapers are just as easy as disposables is lying. True, these days they are pretty easy and not nearly the work they were even 10 or 15 years ago, but HELLO!, you have to wash them. The other kind you just throw in the garbage. Any idiot can figure that out. That is why, for the time being -- at least until the holidays are behind us and I have a working clothes dryer -- Sara's adorable little butt will be clad in disposables. {which I can order online and have delivered right to my door. Praise God!}

I give my kids an apple and a pile of goldfish crackers and call it lunch . . . not everyday, but when you make them a "real" lunch and they don't eat even one bite of it, you decide it's easier and less wasteful to just save yourself the effort.

Kirb has worked in the finance industry for years. He knows money! We have less than 10 years left to pay on our mortgage. We give away a pretty decent percentage of our income to charity. I clip coupons.
BUT, money is tight and is something I'm never NOT thinking or worrying about: How many days until payday? Can we afford ______? Sometimes we don't have enough money to pay all the bills at the end of the month. Currently there is a note reading "$225" in the Disney Fund Jar where the kids contribute money to our long-awaited Disney vacation in June {our first time there!} because I borrowed cash from there a couple weeks ago when things got a bit tight.

Also, I have fabulous babysitters. Their names are Bob, Larry, Dora, Buzz, Woody, Sid the Science Kid, Super Why and Batman . . . among others. Yup, my kids watch TV. They also play Wii.

I have wonderful, fabulous girlfriends!
BUT, sometimes, for the life of me, I can't figure out why they would want to be friends with me.

So, that's my life. It is what it is. I still think it's {mostly} wonderful and I am {mostly} thankful! Just being real.

little things

I'm not nearly as "green" as some people, but I am quite a bit greener than most people I know. Here are a few little things that I do to make a positive difference on the state of our earth . . . or, more accurately, less of a negative difference, I guess::

• We have a dehumidifier running in our basement in the summer {it's MUCH needed!}. Instead of just dumping it down the drain when it's full, I use that water to wash our clothes . . . I do laundry most days anyway, so it's no big deal to empty it into the washing machine instead of down a drain, and that way I save {or actually, recycle, I guess} a bunch of water. Similarly, if someone doesn't finish their water at a meal, we dump in it a house plant, rather than down the sink.
• I don't use my dryer for about 6 months of the year {I think I've used it once since April}. We love our little clothesline and hanging our stuff outside. We even have a clothesline in the basement to use in the winter {a great way to humidify the house during a dry winter}, but mostly in the winter I use the dryer. Don't have a clothesline? Don't worry. Inexpensive drying racks are great . . . dry your clothes inside or move them around in your yard to "chase the sun" and get that stuff dry in no time!
• We recently got a backyard composter. We haven't reaped any benefits yet, {the stuff takes time to "cook"} but have sure dumped a lot of stuff in there. It's nice to know our organic waste has somewhere else to to.
• I bring bags with me to the store. I have some pretty nice re-usable bags, but you don't even have to spend the 99 cents they charge for re-usable bags to make a difference . . . just bring the ones they gave you last time back. I'm not sure about the stores where you live, but around here, almost every store will give you 5 cents off your bill for each bag you bring in to re-use. I'll take that!
• Say you finish a box of cereal . . . we can go through a box a morning around here easily if everyone is in the same cereal mood . . . the box part you can put in your recycling, but what do you do with the inner bag? Probably you toss it in the trash, right? Not me! This idea all started because of my general laziness, I'll have you know: our trash is under the sink. Under the sink has a child lock on it. So, to get to the trash you have to not only bend down, but also undo a ridiculously difficult child lock thing. So I take that inner cereal bag {or an empty chip bag, or whatever} and stick it on my counter -- or usually in one half of my sink -- and load it up with the day's trash. It's usually full by the end of the day and someone runs it out to the garbage. It's not pretty, I'll admit that, but if someone you want to impress stops by you can either just stick that bag into your under-the-sink garbage or just run it outside quick-like. Maybe, maybe I empty the trash that is actually under the sink once a week, but more likely it's once a month. My kids actually get confused about where to put trash if there's not some kind of bag in the sink . . . which leads me to a funny story.Wanna hear? It's related on more than one level.

Here goes: when I was little, our neighbor was a garbage man {I'm sure that's not the politically correct term, but I'm not sure what is, so we'll go with it . . . he was a man and he did drive a garbage truck}, rather than put our garbage in a can and stick it at the end of our driveway once a week {our garbage day is Thursday, how about you?} like most people we walked our bags of garbage through the back yard and just tossed them in the back of his truck. I'm guessing he didn't charge us for this service, but at 6-years-old, or whatever I was, that wasn't my main concern. Mom, you can correct me if I'm wrong! So, anyway, well after I should have been old enough to know better I just assumed that EVERYONE carried their garbage to the neighbors house and tossed it in the back of a garbage truck. Now, however, the truck comes to me . . . although I have to pay him for it. But, thankfully, I don't have to live next door to a parked garbage truck . . . I do, however, have to live next door to a really big RV that blocks my view of our neighborhood and makes it hard to back out of our driveway because you can't see around it . . . but, I digress. Plus, the RV doesn't smell nasty, so I guess that's a perk! I did happen to find out {thank you Facebook} that the son of our neighbor from when I was growing up {who was -- and still is -- my age} has taken over the family garbage business. I don't know where he lives, but I'm guessing he might not park his truck in his yard. But, I could be wrong! {It's happened before}.

Ok, that's more than enough for today. I'm impressed you've read on this far! Hopefully something in there sparked even a tiny little idea for how you can lessen your impact on the world. What "green" things do you do?

my apologies . . .

I would like to take this opportunity to apologize {in advance} to the future wife of my 4th born child. The kid is cute as can be, quite funny and very sweet. I'm sure he'll make a fabulous husband some day {especially if he takes after his dad!}, but along with all that you will have to share a bed with him. And that, let me tell you, is not so fun! He, somehow, takes up the entire bed. Also, he flips around and thrashes so often that it's a wonder he gets any rest at all. Plus -- and this is the worst part, in my opinion -- he grinds his teeth like mad. It's pretty much the worst sound you can imagine!

He had a little trouble sleeping when we were visiting his grandparents last week and I ended up sleeping with him one night. Wait, that's not right: I lay, miserable, in bed next to him wishing the grinding and the movement would stop so that I could have a teeny little chance of sleep in the smallish space left for me after his 5-year-old body took up the vast majority of the surface area of the mattress!

Anyhow, as further proof of my lament, I share with you this picture:I rest my case . . . or not, depending on who I'm in bed with.

You gotta love the little man anyway though! God bless his future wife. We're praying for her already!

I'm quirky::Part II

I warned you it would be coming, and here it is . . .

I'm Quirky::Part II::

I am only capable of rolling over clockwise in bed: Let's pretend it's the middle of the night and I'm sleeping. I'm laying on my left side and decide that is no longer comfy and I would rather be laying on my stomach {I'm mainly a tummy sleeper!} Instead of rolling 90 degrees to the left to land on my stomach {since that would involve the least amount of work} I roll 270 degrees to the right. This also lands me on my stomach, but not as quickly or easily. I understand that it takes long and involves more work and movement and all, but somehow my body {or mind or something} is unable to roll counterclockwise. It's weird. I know! But that's the way it is.

{if you missed the first "I'm quirky", you can check it out right here}

I'm quirky

I admit it :: I'm weird. A little {or maybe more} quirky. But, that's just me. Take it or leave it. Here are a few quirky things that I've noticed about myself lately . . . or known for quite a while, actually.

I love it when something is used up. Maybe it comes from having lots of people living here and lots of stuff and the fact that clutter drives me a little crazy. But the moment I squeeze that last little bit of shampoo out of the bottle and know that now I can take the empty bottle out to the recycling and put a fresh, new bottle in the shower, I feel a little giddy. A new box of cereal. A new package of diapers. A new bar of soap. A new bag of flour. A new box of Qtips. It makes me happy each time. Since we don't have unlimited finances {far from it!}, you would think I would be bummed when things were used up, since that would mean that more money needed to be spent to replace whatever we'd used. As it turns out, that's not at all the case. I wouldn't complain if the flour and oil {figuratively speaking} never ran out like in the story of the widow that shared her last little bit of food with Elijah in I Kings, chapter 17, and was then blessed with a miracle of her jars of flour and oil to never quite run out -- but since that hasn't happened for us lately {although the Lord has provided for us all that we need, just not in that way!} I'll continue to enjoy the happiness I get from using up and replenishing. It is the way of life, right?

Also, I can never keep "viral" and "bacterial" straight. Which one is it that you can do nothing about and which one will get you drugs? I can never keep them quite straight in my mind and have to think hard each and every time to remember which is which . . . and I feel like I should have it down pat by now with how many times I must have brought a kiddo {or myself} into the doctor and been told the news that it's just viral and will have to run it's course, there's nothing we can do for you . . . for her . . . for him! And yet I still have to strain my brain to remember which is which.

Which leads me to quirky thing #3: I can never remember the difference between course and coarse. Just another thing that, as many times as I use it, I can't keep it straight in my head. To write "will have to run it's course" in the above paragraph I need a little assistance from WikiAnswer to make sure I was using the correct word {or, should I say, the write word . . . just kidding! Right and write I have absolutely no trouble with. Nor do I get mixed up by too, to or two. You're or your. Our, hour or are. None of those give me even a seconds pause, but course and coarse I never am confident about.}

I also am never confident about people's names if I haven't seen them for a while . . . or sometimes even if I have. I really mean NEVER. Maybe it's just a poor self-esteem thing, who knows. It's especially bad if I bump into someone out of context or unexpectedly. I think to myself :: I am 99.9% sure that that is Jen. But maybe that's not right. Is it college I know her from or ECFE? Maybe high school? Shoot! Should I call her Jen or should I just wait and see if she says her name. Should I introduce myself? Maybe she doesn't remember my name for sure either. Maybe that would help if I just told her my name. Maybe then she would remind me of hers. :: My gut instinct is almost always right with the name {I can't remember actually having it ever be wrong. Don't misunderstand, sometimes I just don't remember a person's name at all, but when I think I do but lack confidence, I can't remember ever being wrong. But then again, I often can't remember -- or keep straight, at least -- the names of my own children. And I got to pick what they were called in the first place. So, maybe you shouldn't take much stock in my memory at all!} Anyhow, if I ever act awkward upon bumping into you, just give me a minute and maybe mention your name so I can fell better. Ok?

Also, I rub my eyes all the time. I don't know why. They don't itch. I just do it. I can't stop. This is part of the reason I don't wear eye makeup. I would just make a mess of it with that first rub. And also there's the fact that I don't have the first clue how to put it on so it looks good anyway. Nor do I have the first clue what colors to wear {the bright blue eyeshadow and electric blue mascara I dabbled with in junior high were unfortunate proofs of my inabilities and lack of discernment!}

I'll stop for now. But, never fear, I've got many more quirks. Maybe I'll make this a regular thing and part II will be forthcoming. We'll see.

This boy takes after his quirky momma with a quite a few quirks of his own. First off he always diverts his eyes away from the camera and has a goofy smile. What's with that? Also, there's that silly voice of his {which I love!}. I could go on, but this isn't really about Joe now, is it?

How about you? What trips you up on a regular basis? What are some of your quirks . . . I know you've got some, don't try to deny it. I might even be able to help give you a hint as to what they are if I know you well enough.